Thanks Longtire. I know what I consider intimacy in my life. I want to be in a relationship where my partner and I can have honest talks about our experiences in life. To talk honestly about our dreams and aspirations and accepting each others flaws in life. I want feel like my partner can lean on me in times of need, and allows me to have the same opportunity. I beleive intamacy is seeing your partner succeeding in her desires and being there to share in the experience. I beleive that my significant other is my best friend. My lover and confidont(sp). I never threatened my relationship with my ex. She just kept pushing me during a time that was supposed to be special. I know you dont think much of me with some of my anger and I do apologize, but imagine sitting there with somebody you love and they think so little of you and Xmas to go to a porn store, wrap it up and give it to you on Xmas morning. It took alot of thought to be so cruel to me. Imagine going to buy roses, buy a necklace, and take her to a great dinner. Tell her how beautiful she is, and then just talk about a televiision show on VH1 and then have the response from the one you want to make feel special and they are upset because of somebodies fake breast. Imagine how you defend yourself against such a statement. Imagine how bad you feel knowing that everything you did to make a person feel loved just went off on you for nothing you can understand. Imagine that person blaming you for their thoughts and not taking any responsiblity for their actions. Imagine talking with a medical professional about your dad dying in your arms to have her know that I need their support to ease down on the medical disesase talk, and imagine the one you love who said loves you to say get over your dad dying. I dont want to walk around your feelings because he died years ago. Imagine knowing you believed her loving words only to condemn you as a man who cant understand that she wants me to give my life to her but doesnt feel she should have to give back the same. I write a mile a minute because I cant beleive that I tried to be sincere and not disrespectful and it works against me. I wish I said nothing, because I feel like she misunderstood what I was saying. I dont get a second chance. People say I am crazy for even wanting one, but I miss and LOVED the woman I met the first year. I dont understand why she needed to lie and be with me in the first place. She could have just gone out with me and said goodbye. I hate that she wasnt sincere with her feelings. I was there to listen. To be a person she could count on. I dont want to love anymore, because I dont trust my ability to smell out somebody wanting to take advantage of me. Guest, I dont mean to talk at you. I guess I just get hurt by your words because you seem to take sides against me and say that I was at fault for her actions. I did nothing to hurt her, I only wanted to grow together as a couple and she just kept pushing me away. In the end she wins becasue she is happy to hurt me as a person and she has what she wants- A person who will spend their nights talking about diseases and patient loads. I thought she would enjoy talking and having fun with us. All she cares about is her career, I am an afterthought. She was always in my heart. The problem is she doesnt even beleive it. I guess I dont know how to treat a woman.
