Tell me I'm not crazy!
After browsing numerous website on Narcissm, I feel my ex-partner (cuz I was never good enough to be an actual girlfriend) suffers terribly from this.
Here's my story...I'm 28, he's 26. We dated briefly, he left me for an ex, (their 3rd time around) she dumps him again, and he comes looking to me for comfort. We start up again, sleeping together, but I'm only a "Friend".
I thought it was a new beginning, but it was a nightmare.
We'd hang out with friends and have drinks. I'd sleep over a lot. He'd tell me what a great woman I was, how nice, how smart, what a great cook I was. Then in the next breath would tell me all about his ex's, how FINE they were, the great sex they had - but where are they now?
Him and his last ex were into S&M, 3somes, (she was bi).
As for sex, at first he didn't want it too much, only when we we're drunk. A few times he tried some S&M things on me, but said I should be careful what "Doors I open". I found out soon enough. He would be drunk, bite me hard on my chest and arms, slap me face, pinch me, choke me during, and pull my hair. He once SPIT on my face, laughed, then licked my face. I wanted to vomit. He said he could never "Finish" with me, but never had that problem with anyone else. Maybe if I lost weight? Then he wanted me to pick up girls to bring home for us to have a "toy" as he put it. "don't worry, she won't mean anything, just someone to use & abuse".
It has been confusing to say the least. A few weeks ago he told me that things were going so well he was THINKING of asking me out again. But what if he required me to lose weight? Would I do it for him? I said yeah, I've wanted to lose some weight anyways & go to the gym. I lost 15 and things haven't changed. The past 2 weeks he has gotten the most drunk and violent yet. I can't do anything right according to him at this point.
My sister saw bruises on my arms and finallly confronted me. I told her. I stopped calling him for several days. I broke down and wanted to see/talk to him one last time. He tells me I"M done, and that we shouldn't talk/see each other because he doesnt' want to hurt me when I see him w/another girl. He thinks he is such a find, and so great in bed. I say let the new girl be his new punching bag. No matter how much it hurts to think of him with someone else, I know he'll never change. And he'll forget about me in no time I'm sure. He won't look back.
Yet I still check my cell to see if he called, and when laying in bed alone I still have this urge to call him. I think he cares, just was F***cked up as a kid and is unable to love, just like he says.
