Thanks and answer to questions

[Joey]

Thanks to all who have written to send me words of encouragement and hope.  I am touched by the understanding.

To Longtire - I've had three psychs tell me that I have been so indoctrinated that my brain was wired (at a very young age) to be prone to anxiety and depression.  Research has shown that a young child's brain (between birth and 3) develops at a huge rate, therefore I must be miswired.  I'm working on proving these doctors wrong.

[sleepyhead]

Joey: You might be miswired, but you can get rewired!  

[vunil]

Hi, Joey--

I am surprised at how confident your therapist is about this.  At this point I don't think anyone knows enough about the brain to know something that definitively.

There's something so fatalistic about that idea!

On the other hand, I differ from some on the list in that I think medicines (like antidepressants) can be really helpful in allowing other kinds of therapy to work.  It's just too tough to try to work through painful stuff (like realizing your parents are terrible) while being really sad or anxious.  And I don't think that self-knowledge is a substitute for medication if it's needed-- sometimes it really helps to have both.  I'm a believer in seratonin imbalances-- and I do think that you can be born with them (there is a lot of evidence for that).   It doesn't mean you have to be on the medication forever,  but I guess what I'm saying is that if you do find that your life is significantly improved by taking the drugs indefinitely, that does NOT mean that you have failed in your quest for self-knowledge.  I don't think it is always true that talk therapy and spiritual enlightenment, etc. can substitute for correcting those imbalances.  But they do make a fantastic team.

The truth is, the introduction of those medications years ago significantly lowered the suicide rate, to the tune of 30% or so.  So, there is something to them...

Just another point of view!  It's always good to have a variety.  Of course, you get to pick your own  

[Anonymous]

Joey:

I went back on the other thread where you posted that you might have to much psychological damage by age three.  I think there are a lot of other things to take into account and not go by what psychologists say.  The brain is a very complex organ and I don't think there is a person on the planet that can say with certainty that they KNOW.  Psychologists are only giving you their best educated GUESS as to your depression and anxiety.

I am sure your exposure to Nness as a child was the genesis of your problems.  Having said that, there are many people here who are suvivors and I am just asking you to give  yourself a chance.  You will run across many people in life who will tell you things, but do not take anything at face value unless you experience it first hand.  I know that you have battled depression and anxiety..........just as I have.  You can make it.  Just say to yourself "what constructive thing" can I do FOR MYSELF on a daily basis.  It can be a thought, and action, doing for someone else.  I view depression as a slow death of the ego, or self, and to combat that, constructive thoughts was the only thing that kept me going.   I am not saying it will get you out of the hole overnight, but it will be like taking little bites of an elephant on a daily basis.  Pretty soon the elephant is gone.

Please keep posting here because there are many people who have gone through very tough things and are climbing out on the outside.  We can be a source of comfort, understanding and more importantly a sounding board to you.  When you are in a state of anxiety or depression it is a very foggy existance and your thoughts are not clear.  Having other people to talk to will give you different angles on things.  

Many thoughts and prayers for you, Patz

[bunny]

Hi Joey,

I don't know why psychs got it into their peabrains to inform you that your brain got miswired by age 3. That's like a death sentence. How gloomy and depressing. What did they hope to gain by telling you that?  

My idea is: the brain DOES go through incredible growth in the first years and a lot of stuff DOES get learned and tendences DO get neurally wired. So what. Age 3 is not the end of the learning process in humans. I am a hell of a lot different now than I was at three years old. I have been able, to a great degree, to rewire the thinking. If people couldn't do that, there would be no therapy and no self-help books. And I gladly take antidepressants. And I intend to take them for the rest of my life if I can. They have helped me tremendously. I wish more people would take them (especially my boss).

My points are (a) no one should tell a therapy patient that their brain got miswired; and (b) no one is doomed to remain at the level of age 3.

bunny

[longtire]

Thanks to all who have written to send me words of encouragement and hope.  I am touched by the understanding.

To Longtire - I've had three psychs tell me that I have been so indoctrinated that my brain was wired (at a very young age) to be prone to anxiety and depression.  Research has shown that a young child's brain (between birth and 3) develops at a huge rate, therefore I must be miswired.  I'm working on proving these doctors wrong.

Joey,
I agree with other here that "rewiring" your brain through therapy, learning and growth can make a hugh difference in your life.  If you need to take medication to correct a biological problem, then diit.  Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.  I don't see how you can really know if there is a biological problem until you have exhausted the learning and growth path, though.  Being "prone" to depression is not ths same as have depression.  You (Joey) are not depression or "proneness," you are who you are.  I'm glad to hear that your children support you.  I believe this is a strong reflection of who you are.

[Stormchild Guesting]

Joey - they truly don't know everything.

When I was a kid, the common wisdom was that either you studied a foreign language when you were young, or you'd never be able to learn it.

Yeah, right. I moved overseas at 35, and learned to speak German quite reasonably. I didn't learn to write it very well, but that was because I didn't make the time to take night classes; I was too pooped by the end of the workday.

I learned to play the guitar at 27.

You can rewire your head. You can learn and change throughout your entire life. Those who try to tell you that you can't are usually gaining something from holding you down - such as, keeping you in therapy, keeping you on drugs, etc.

[Ever notice that some people in 'helping' professions seem to get their kicks from feeling superior to those they're helping? Big problem for them, if the ones being helped get 'over it' and end up functioning better than this kind of helper!]

That being said, some things are pretty much forever, like bipolar disorder (if correctly diagnosed, that is). But even in these cases, much can be done and much progress can be made - if the therapist is cooperative and believes that change is possible. There are cases of florid psychotics going into remission!

So... hope is worth holding on to, and those who would quash it need to be questioned about their motives...

I probably sound kind of smart alecky in this post, and I'm sorry if so... it just fries my hair to hear of people being told what they are and are not capable of by those who gain by keeping others down. Grrrr.    

Fortunately, this board is full of folks whose hair fries for similar reasons, so you'll get no end of validation and support... and since we're all in cyberspace, we can't smell the frying hair. A big plus.