The Art of Not Being Offended by Dr. Jodi Prinzivalli

[Mum as guest]

To the guest who wrote "no court in the land would protect an abuser over the abused...." With all due respect: take your rose colored glasses off.  Children with visual evidence of physical abuse are routinely forced into visitation and even sole custody situations with thier abuser.  Sorry, that is a sick but unvarnished truth, right here in the land of the free.

To Phillip: just to clarify: I do not wish to take away my children's contact with thier father.  He is thier father and as such has a right to see them. I simply wish to be free to do what I choose in this life, and find it frustrating to be engaged in battle whenever he feels like fighting.
 I do not agree with his treatment of anyone, but this type of Narcissistic manipulation is extremely difficult to pinpoint in a court of law, and even trickier when trying to keep your kids safe and trusting (ask anyone here).  I do a good job balancing out his negativity.  When I express exhaustion at it all, that's simply all it is.  Not a death sentence for myself.

 I am so sorry about your dad. I have a similar situation. My mom was given two weeks to live in October, and she is still with us, or what's left of her.  Her emotional demons have taken control at times and it inspires all of her children to take care of ourselves now.  Again, I guess, another gift in pain.  But I retain the right to announce that it still hurts like heck.

Phillip: On astology: had my charts done....all very interesting, but I will never believe there is only ONE way in this life.....but that's not what you implied when you said I'll make a believer out of you (to Vunil?) is it?
If this is the thing that  "did it" for you....more power to you.  You sound like it has given you peace.  I'm happy for you.

Kaz: thanks especially for understanding and putting forth your take on my situation with kindness and so succinctly.  It is true, I am not dealing with another reasonable adult here.  My children have the opportunity to see compassionate adult communication all the time, just not when it involves said baby/bully.
MUM

[phillip]

MUM-Thank you and I sympathize with your situation with your mom.  It is like a part of us gets put on hold, holding our breath so to speak.  Thank you for clarifying your situation with your ex.  I understand.  It is kinda like picking at a scab, the wound never gets a chance to heal.

I wish to add a piece about astrology here.  I believe we are co-creators.  I have seen written evidence that the ARENA in which we operate, the opportunities we are presented with in life are predetermined.  However, how we respond to these choices are ours' alone.  According to theory, we choose much of this ARENA in between lives, with guidence.  This is not about punishment and reward.  It is about spiritual growth.  Those who are hurting others, are failing to grow IMO

[Anonymous]

lol you wanna know what I learned about scabs? That if we pick them, they will heal anyway eventually, but the more we pick the deeper the scar.

[mum]

Thanks, Phillip. I think you understand.  I'm not as certain as you as far as the predetermined stuff, but I think humans understand very little and as such, anything is possible.  
I do agree completely, that how we react to what life hands us,  IS entirely in our hands.  That's why most of us here have come into contact.  How to do what we can to heal with what life is handing us. (or call it what we chose, the end result of learning is the same). Doing what we can to heal and heal others is our common purpose.  This life is but a speck, a flash of light.  What an awesome little thing it is, though (and it's all we've got at the moment).

[phillip]

MUM-I often take grim comfort from Woody Allen's line, "The best thing you can say about god is that he is an underachiever."  I also like his line that we are all here for a crime we didn't commit.  lol   Sometimes I just have to laugh or I am afraid I will cry and not be able to stop.  Peace dear woman.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why Philip wants to "make" someone a believer. I have not seen this attitude from anyone on this board, whether a believer or non-believer. Everyone else here seems to respect other peoples choices and not convince them of what is right. If it works for you philip, that is good, but do not assume it will work for others. You have been critisised befor for being "preachy", maybe you should look at how you present your beliefs? Not hating, not telling you what to do, just asking and suggesting.

[phillip]

Guest-I will work on it.  Thank you for your suggestion.  I need this kind of honest input.  My own insecurities are showing and I get kind of rough at the edges with no sleep.  I apologize.

[Anonymous]

I know Phillip personally. Trust me when I tell you that he is the most well-meaning human I have ever encountered in my lifetime.

[Anonymous]

I know Phillip personally. Trust me when I tell you that he is the most well-meaning human I have ever encountered in my lifetime.

Didn't say he wasn't.

[phillip]

What's that they say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" and "The devil is in the details"  lol

[Anonymous]

Didn't say you did.

His intention is less about converting others into believers, and more about being himself a servant of humanity.

[Anonymous]

Guest wrote,

I know Phillip personally. Trust me when I tell you that he is the most well-meaning human I have ever encountered in my lifetime.

Phillip then wrote,

What's that they say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" and "The devil is in the details" lol

Phillip,
I can't say we see eye to eye on things spritual, but you do have a sense of humor, and can laugh at yourself. You're definitely not an N.

"The best thing you can say about god is that he is an underachiever."

I must confess I have read counter arguments to Pascal's wager but haven't found a convincing one yet.
Pascal's wager: We have a choice of believing in God or not.
If we believe and are wrong we have lived by the Golden rule and end up eaten by the worms. We've lost nothing.
If we believe and are correct, then we attain heaven eternally. We've gained everything.
However, if we disbelieve and are correct we live as we please and end up eaten by the worms. We've gained nothing.
If we disbelieve and are incorrect we earn an eternity in torment seperated from God by our own choice. We've lost everything.
His point of logic being, what is gained by disbelief? Is it 'rational' to not believe? This obviously does not prove the existence of God, nor is it intended to. But it is worth considering from a strictly rational point of view, I think.

mudpup

[catlover]

Phillip:  I would love it if you would do my "chart" I'll send you my birth info privately.  

Actually, I've been wanting to look into this for a couple months, since a friend of mine said that she consulted with an astrologist and it was "amazing - too true to be coincidence."

As for "making me a believer," if someone could wave a wand and do that, I would love it.  I am becoming more and more "pragmatic" about this sort of thing.  If believing something makes me feel BETTER (and I mean better deep down, not just by suppressing), then I want to choose to believe in it.  Being in a 12-step program has helped with this.  Basically, who am I to say there is no God, nothing to astrology, etc There is no proof that such things do or do not exist, so why not choose to believe they do if it makes me feel better?

[mum as guest]

phillip: Is mercury in retrograde or WHAT????  
It's all good.  I think differing opinions are what makes the world go around (except for my ex's )

[phillip]

Guest-Pascal's wager.  All of the phenomena that is viewed as psychic, magic, miraculous, unexplainable, spontaneous healings etc.  What if,  I know this is blasphemous, what if we ARE god?  What if we are creating all the time, but often miscreating through sheer lack of direction and belief(or as Jesus said, FAITH)  Remember the parable of the mustard seed.  There are people running around us that are capable of creating a slightly skewed reality as an energy field around themselves.  I have seen it, felt it and she just plain expressed it to me.  She chose to believe she had this gift, and it was.  There are rules though.  We have hidden potentials.  For me it is not belief, it is experiential.  The magic seems to be in our hidden and latent potential.

Gyn-I am so happy that you are interested in looking at your chart.  I apologize if I came off preachy.  I am very passionate about the subject and sometimes I get too carried away.  Doing charts is how I learn what I believe to be the nature of reality.  Granted, it is but a piece of the puzzle and the journey never ends.  I read once,"In matters of the spirit, one is always at the beginning."  I love what I do and if it serves you in your journey, then I am twice blessed.  Thanks for responding