Inner Child

[Joey]

When raised by N parents, does our inner child ever fully grow up?  Just wondering what others think.

[Stormchild]

I do believe it's possible, but we have to reparent ourselves - this is usually helped if we have a good counselor to work with us, because we have to transfer the parent role to them for a little bit before we can take it to ourselves, move it on to God, etc.

It's work, though.    

[longtire]

Joey, the way I experience this is that I still have that child inside me.  What I ( the adult me now) have been able to do is listen to my child, give him space, welcome him in and convince him to give me all the adult responsbilities and for him to just be the child he was meant to be.  To do that I had to convince him that I am mature grown up who makes good decisions and can protect "him."  I'm not sure if this answers your original question or not, but that's how I experience things.

[Anonymous]

I don't think an inner child is supposed to grow up. We always retain earlier stages of our development. Maybe you're looking for the adult parts of yourself to take charge. The inner child (or children) can't be in charge of our adult decisions.

bunny

[chutzbagirl]

Hey Joey,

Being raised by N's did not make little Chutzbagirl happy at all!  
When I'm going through tough times in my recovery I talk to her or check in.  When I'm talking to disbelievers of the whole "inner child" thing I explain it as "taking care of the immature parts of my heart".  

Ya know what's weird?  I can do an inner check in my minds eye and actually picture her.  Sometimes she is happy and sometimes she is so sad or angry.  Today she was stomping up and down.  Before recovery she was always looking at me with a very sad face through a glass door.  That bothered me - I'm glad she's out now.  

I used to resent my "little girl" because I couldn't handle her pain.  Now I like her and think she is funny/neat/cute/fiesty/precious.  I'm beginning to believe that's how God sees me too.    

[delphine]

Ya know what's weird? I can do an inner check in my minds eye and actually picture her.

-chutzbagirl

I do that, too. It is very telling that when I first began therapy I couldn't stand the suggestions to contact my inner child.... I wouldn't even listen to her when I WAS a child!!! I can remember, at age 8, thinking that the kids who were playing 4 square were wasting their time. When my daughter wanted to play, this memory came to mind. So I played it WITH her and her friends, and then we went shopping for the coolest 4 square ball we could find. It was so much fun to bring home that lime green polka dot ball, draw the grid in chalk, and play.

Now, sometimes when I am enjoying an activity, I check in with my inner child and she is playing 4 square.

Have a fun day,

Delphine's Inner Child