Did anyone else have wierd medical incidents with their Ns?
--FlowerGirl, whose self-confidence has suffered a blow by yet another thing "my fictional future husband" will need to accomodate.
hi flowergirl. thanks again so much for the kind words to me. i know this is late but my computer seems to be cooperating so i can tell you what i wanted to about my 'medical incidents' with n's. it was very different from yours, but might be helpful or interesting. im sorry about your self confidence and i hope its recovered fully as it does not deserve such treatment in the very least.
first off i agree with the person who said your husband will need to be accomodating, mainly of his motherinlaw. :} basically i do think that all this medical weirdness comes down to neurotic need for either attention or control, in some form. its just another arena for playing drama games.
in my family this was how it went. my father is a cardiac surgeon. and my stepmother is an emergency room nurse. so physically, they -never- believed us if we were sick. (i mentioned the incident where i was blamed for 'getting sick on purpose to make him look bad') if there werent limbs falling off or something, we were 'fine'. they still tell me im 'faking it' that i got hit by a car and have a head injury!
we got -no- sympathy whatsoever for anything. or rather, -i- didnt. my brother, did. we were played against each other, even in health issues. needless to say, my brother participates in their lousy treatment of me to this day, why shouldnt he, he got the rewards, i got the sh*t end of the stick. in a way, this was good becuase healthwise im very tough. you reminded me of at least one positive thing i reaped out of their pathology which was sturdy physical health.
but, i was relentlessly pathologised -
mentally. physically, there was never anything legitimately wrong with me. but -mentally-, they were willing to put every diagnosis in the book onto me. so.. ???
now with my daughter, she is being relentlessly pathologised,
physically =and= mentally. so, i think that they just utilise these health issues, depending on who you are, your relationship to them, your individual personality, what they think they can get out of you, and what part they want you to play in their script. its just something they can use against you in various forms.
i think the bottom line with these people, is they are somewhere between the most unpleasantly spoiled, overindulged toddler from hell you can imagine and a cat. (now i love both cats and toddlers dont get me wrong. but i think they borrow certain personality aspects.)
what happens if you are at a party with a horribly spoiled toddler and someone else gets a present. instant screaming freak out.
what happens if someone else gets a lollipop at the doctors. instant screaming freakout.
what happens if someone else is even getting something unpleasant like a shot. instant screaming freakout. it isnt them. it always has to be about -them-, even if its unpleasant.
how does this toddler 'take care' of a pet. if you do not watch them, they will 'take care' of that pet so well to cause permenent damage. crushing an animal under a box is just the same to them as 'taking care'.
what does this horribly spoiled toddler do if you are late, in a hurry, getting ready to do something important, making some effort to enjoy yourself for once, or really needing their cooperation. they can control you, by making it completely impossible for you to do that thing. they will force you to pay attention to them, they will escalate as much as they need to, in order to turn the attention onto them.
what does a cat do if you are reading something 'important'. they will lay right across it. this is cute when its a real cat, but with a self-involved adult, it isnt so cute. but its the same thing - you are daring to look at something other than them.
thats the mental space they are operating from, and its a lot less adorable than a cat or a toddler. health issues are such a fertile ground for getting sympathy and attention, its really no wonder, that they are so frequently used against us by these overgrown toddlers-from-hell known as 'n's.
now i work at a preschool and in 8 years, i have only seen -one- child that fits the description above. most kids go through that phase for a few months and are socialised out of it. but some, are not, and they go on to grow up into the horrible kind of adults that have done us so much damage with their toddler-think.
alternatively medically with himself - my father is a massive baby. he will whine and cry about the littlest thing that hapens to him, but at the same time act the martyr as though he is superhuman. one time he broke his wrist, and attempted to perform open heart surgery
left-handed.
the other doctors had to drag him from the operating room, but he would have gone ahead with it. what a great opportunity to make himself look like mr superhero, while putting that patient at considerable risk. im sure he never once thought, the responsible thing to do, was remove himself and call in another doctor.. he was so positive he was better than anyone that even left handed, nobody else could do it as well as he. TODDLER THINK.
those are my medical stories.....
hope my computer will send this one --- take care of yourself.. :}}/
d's mom
