Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
acapella and the other n-partners
Anonymous:
In case I wasn't clear in my earlier posts.....I WAS TAKEN OFF THE SANDAHL BOARD WITHOUT ANY WARNING. I made no N references! I didn't swear. (Frankly I don't feel either are grounds for cutting of public discussion ESPECIALLY in these forums.) I couldn't quite believe what was happening between Sandahl and I never mind anyone else. I have read and reread all correspondence between Sandahl and myself and am convinced that YOU are most certainly behaving in very unhealthy ways Lisa.
I believe you lied when you denied what you said to Hope. I don't know but I believe you did because what Hope said you said looks very consistent with your behavior and what you wrote to me! I believe you don't see it yourself because you are doing a half arsed job of hiding it. You haven't lied directly that I know of about my communication with you as all you wrote to my knowledge was that I was part of a group that needed to calm down. You are hiding so much and involving the relationship of others in your unilateral power move.
When I said "at least sandahl wasn't lying" what I meant was you (Lisa aka Sandahl, right?) didn't go on letting others on the site believe we left on our own.
I too believe you have been acting in ways totally in keeping with your own definition of narcissistic behavior and I am begining to wonder if you aren't just loving this attention you are getting Lisa (makes weakness feel powerful to read all this?) instead of dealing with THE ISSUE.
I know I, like all other human beings, have the capacity for narcissistic behavior. As soon as you claim to be above it all you are out of it, in my not so humble opinion.
Acappella (was my name at the Sandahl forum - posing loosely as the NPartner site)
Echo
P.S. I didn't check my spelling - this is about content and connection NOT perfectionism. If anything is ever not clear in any of my communication and you want clarity let me know OF COURSE. Duahh.
Acappella:
Hi CC,
respectfully, THIS IS PART OF MY HEALING. My empathy and general observational skill says I am not alone in that feeling/experience.
I have been resentful at the time "it" is taking (I am taking the time though, not some mysterious "it") AND this is exactly the work I have to do go grow. I am lucky to have the time to deal with this to this extent. I will move on when I have exchanged what I need to. I have avoided this sort of thing in the past and then not learned. I am learning from what others are expressing here too.
This will end when we have resolved it and not before unless something external decides first and then we will do this elsewhere. As we were silenced at the other site this is about, in part, having our say. If Richard Grossman is running out of board space or we are causing someone difficulty they can let us know. Or not. Their choice. (Duh, enough with the reminding of the obvious individual choice, opinion etc.)
Thanks though. I appreciate your apparently noticing how damned hard this all is to deal with.
It is like an emotional marathon. There is a finish line and we are working very hard to get there without short cuts. Some will finish sooner than others some won't even get in the race and for some folks I realize it just isn't relevant. Not all posts are to everyone.
This is helping me understand how to deal with relationships, how to pick them and to NOTICE WORD SALAD and what I do still to set myself up for being treated unfairly and how I deal with it when it happens. I am learning what qualities I want in a friend not just what to avoid. The courage expressed here and the willingness to struggle for growth is nothing sort of admirable and sort of beautiful in my eyes.
Jaded911:
CC,
Your post meant alot to me in many ways. First of all you summed it up perfectly. It obviously was not a safe place and I am sad about that because I truly felt it was. I will not live the rest of my life comparing everyone or everything to Nism, but just freshly out of a N relationship, safe was something that I was looking for.
Thank you for welcoming us here and I am sorry we had to come in with a bang. I just really feel that understanding the dynamics of conflict is a good thing to have. When you have a conflict and walk away feeling it added insult to injury it just takes time to get a clear view of the event.
I have never seen this before on a board and quite frankly if I ever see it again, I am outta there with my lips zipped. Not that I regret defending what I perceived to happen, I wouldnt change a thing. Next time however I will take it up in private with that person. That way words cant get twisted and we all know how that feels. HUh?
Acappella:
Nike,
I have just read the post in which you stated:
--- Quote ---ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT...
If you all are so "happy to be outta there"..why the heck do you care if anyone goes to bat for you? I dont get it
--- End quote ---
is that a lack of empathy I detect? How could you not understand wanting to be cared about by others with whom you bonded unless you just don't risk really bonding in the first place.
It is hard enough for those of us going through this so I can't imagine why someone who isn't involved would take precious time to post as you have.
What is your interest in all of this?
ECHO (in case I got logged out/timed out)
Acappella:
I will forget about that site and i haven't yet.
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