acapella and the other n-partners

[Acappella]

In case I wasn't clear in my earlier posts.....I WAS TAKEN OFF THE SANDAHL BOARD WITHOUT ANY WARNING. I made no N references! I didn't swear. (Frankly I don't feel either are grounds for cutting of public discussion ESPECIALLY in these forums.) I couldn't quite believe what was happening between Sandahl and I never mind anyone else. I have read and reread all correspondence between Sandahl and myself and am convinced that YOU are most certainly behaving in very unhealthy ways Lisa.

And I just read my earlier post, I wasn't clear enough.  


THAT WAS ME ECHO as guest in the post i just quoted here (was Acappella on other site)

Nike is Lisa is Sandahl, correct?

I might trust you Sandahl if you could have this discussion on YOUR OWN (as you pointed out) site.  I hope you finding healing.

[Acappella]

P.S.

CC, it is "obvious" to you and it obviously wasn't and isn't for others. AND, how it happened is so important and sharing it is what this is all about.

Jaded, I feel sad when you appologize about this thread.  "come in with a bang"  so what?  what bang?

[Nike]

Nike,

I have just read the post in which you stated:
Quote:
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT...
If you all are so "happy to be outta there"..why the heck do you care if anyone goes to bat for you? I dont get it


is that a lack of empathy I detect? How could you not understand wanting to be cared about by others with whom you bonded unless you just don't risk really bonding in the first place.

No "MISS PARANOID"....that's a bonafide question. You come on here accusing me of being Sandahl, hiding behind a facade and you know nothing about me, I have only seen the name Accapella on the NPartner board a handful of times so for you to question my integrity, when the others Mindy, Hope and Hermione, know full well who I am and what I stand for. I am only trying to better understand why my friends left, I didnt get to read what happened. I WAS AT WORK. This might sound a bit awful but we didnt really have any problems at the N board until you appeared...perhaps it is purely coincidence, perhaps not, I"m not really sure anymore.....I dont want to hear any more from you about me when you dont even know me, if you want to nicely ask me a question , shoot...I'll answer anything but dont even start to get hateful with me.

[Acappella]

As for Sandahl or whatever ...Nike, Lisa Grand Po Bah, etc.....

If you would deal with your feelings in this thread I could respond to you.  

Instead you write about people falling in love with a site!  A SITE?  It is people I connected with not this site, your site, or any other site.  People and their FEELINGS, right or wrong.  Feelings are neither right nor wrong.  Until you have them and own them what are you but a pawn in your own game?

I learned about your image and how important control is to you. I learned nothing else about you because I didn't read anything else from you.

[Acappella]

Wow.  You are doing my work for me.  Whomever you are.  

You are right I don't know anything about you but what you post here.

This is classic though and I am glad it is in print.

Worth billions of dollars and years of therapy.  Wow.

[hope2003]

CC thank you for your support.

Lisa: I said this to your privately, but I think the others should understand as well.  Your post on this board made reference to the "have a nice life" comment and you said that YOU said it.  It was confusing.  Obviously, you thought I was confused and you said that to me.  I was referring to sandahl of course.  Originally, I read your post and thoought you were Sandahl.  Then I saw that you signed your name and I knew who it was.  Echo wasn't around long enough to know all the players and their stories.

Finally, everyone should know that you posted a thread on the other board saying that your board was better off without us.  You make some accusations which are exaggerated and don't apply to me.  Please don't try to be my friend, ask me to come back, and then turn on me like that.  I am responsible for what I say, not for what Mindy, Echo, Bunny or Bobbie say.  Please don't lump us together.  

Having said all that, your thread does make me wonder.  I don't really feel that I can trust you with my feelings.

[Anonymous]

No "MISS PARANOID"....that's a bonafide question. You come on here accusing me of being Sandahl, hiding behind a facade and you know nothing about me.........I'll answer anything but dont even start to get hateful with me.

Just an observation here - no one likes to be accused of negative things, especially if they're innocent, and no one likes to be called names.  I don't believe it's constructive to respond to an accusation using an attack with a derogatory, sarcastic name.  I'd suggest if you object to the accusation, respond to that issue, but drop the name-calling.  I can understand your emotion resulting from an accusation, but by not controlling it, it's pretty obvious this is going to escalate into a plain old bitch-session like the one that just happened, and I thought everyone wanted to avoid a repeat of that.

Nike, your offer to answer "anything" was great - if the questions are put in a civil way that doesn't discount anyone, and the answers are not aggressively defensive, a dialog could get going that might resolve the problem.  However, I find it a bit amusing that you say "don't even start to get hateful with me" when you start  your post with "no 'MISS PARANOID' "  Does that make any sense?

On the other board, I think it was Sandahl herself who suggested not replying immediately to a post that gets the high emotions going.  I think that's a good idea, to wait a while and calm down, but I've also been guilty many, many times of immediate, impulsive replies.

Well, we can always keep on working...

bobbie

[I'm mine]

sorry, the post about accusations and name-calling was me, bobbie.  i must have gotten timed out.

i've been having so much trouble logging in and staying logged in on this board.  i just tried to log in 6 times to make this post, and my username shows up on the index page as being logged in, but when i try to post, the board keeps telling me to log in.

don't know what i'm doing wrong, maybe it's just my computer being uncooperative.  anyway, i just wanted to identify my previous post, to avoid misunderstanding.

bobbe

[Nike]

Well ECho, thank you for finally asking me ....
I have been posting at the other board for about 3 months, and I THOUGHT, I had made a few good friends there that I truly enjoyed talking with online in the forum so I was concerned (maybe overly) when they left. YOU have only been there a few times....besides the fact that you just oddly happened to be there when things went south...what is your interest in all this???

[Nike]

Instead you write about people falling in love with a site! A SITE? It is people I connected with not this site, your site, or any other site.

I wrote about people falling in love with a SITE??? I DID?? When? where?
Heyyyyy, is this Tammy?!

[Nike]

Echo wasn't around long enough to know all the players and their stories.

Then why is she posting like a maniac about something she knows not much about? (I suppose I'm doing the same thing here!)
I am going to quit this! My intentions were pure, now I'm not so sure because I am hurt and mad. I will say this, I will not just sit here and allow myself to get trashed, I will defend myself.

[Nike]

Having said all that, your thread does make me wonder. I don't really feel that I can trust you with my feelings.

I"m sorry Hope...what I meant by that title is that we are ALL better off...you dont like any of us much anymore, I'm just trying to be helpful in a big intrusive way...I"m sorry that you feel that way about me now.

[Jaded911]

Lisa,

You have every right to defend yourself when you feel you are being attacked.  That is something that I am not understanding about the other site.   I do not have that right to defend myself or anything that anyone is saying about me.  

I realised it was you when you told me to shut up, it is Lisa.  I then approached you as Lisa, not as Sands mini me.  I now know it was you because you clairified that to me Lisa, and ya what, I listened to you.  I will only speak in a first person form here, I am going to speak about I, I am not going to speak We.  

I would have loved to have the oportunity to let my side be heard.  I would like to be able to talk through my issues with anyone who cares to, I do not have a beef with anyone personally, I just know that I will not watch someone I do not even know treat anyone like I felt I had been treated during my relationship.  I came to the aid of someone I perceived would be feeling as chitty as I did during my treatment by my x.

I said to you that I appreciate people who speak their mind, I admire that.  I also respect people who stand up for people no matter what the cost.  I would have done it for anyone, it just didnt have to be herm.  I am really worn out trying to defend myself.  I have had way to much of that in the past two years, yet I still feel I have to continue because of this ordeal.  I am not always right, but I am not always wrong either.  I am human and I make mistakes.  But I am also a good person who admits when I am wrong.  I am not convinced that I was wrong.  I am actually thinking I was right to not be in a place I felt was safe, later to learn it probably wasn't safe at all.  Well, as long as I conformed to others thoughts it was safe, the minute mine didnt jive with one persons, I knew I was in another situation that my voice did not matter.

As far as the problems go on the other site.  I really do not think you or anyone else can list one time I created a problem.  I never attacked anything anyone said, and I tried to be very supportive when I felt someone needed support.  I have the ability to be a soft gal,  but I must really be thankful that I kept my ability to be a tough chick too.  That is how I survived my ordeal with the N.  I just can not let go of that side of me and I know you are the same way.  We are survivors, all of us have to be to get through this.

[Acappella]

Bobbe,

about being logged in or not - that happens on this site.  It times out and I haven't found a way to detect if I am really logged in - as you noted it still can have your name next to 'Log out' and yet you are no longer logged in.  

I emailed the moderator/manager here, R Grossman, and he acknowledged the difficulty that situation poses and yet it is a technical constraint. I tried the preview button and it does help with previewing code use results/formatting but it didnt indicate if I was still logged in or not.  You can check auto login but then anyone who uses your computer will get auto logged in also.  And, I have heard that it stores info in the computer that can confuse other sites etc - a bank site I've logged into on line told me that.

[Nike]

Youre absolutey right Mindy, I'm sorry you are stressed about this as I am too....heck even a broken watch is right at least once a day, huh?
Love ya, it's ok...I miss you and hope and herm and I have no beefs with any of you....I was only trying to better understand the situation.