acapella and the other n-partners

[Jaded911]

Guest,

Let me begin by saying thank you for voicing your opinion in a manner which is appropriate.  You talked civil, you offer others the chance to respond, you are not trying to force your opinion to be the gospel, and you did not come blasing in without facts to back your opinion up.  

Thank you very much for behaving in a manner which states your opinion and allows others the chance to rebuttle if they wished.

I am not saying I disagree or agree with your opinion.  My problem is I never got that chance.  Hope posted and she made numerous valid points and I really am a strong believer that everyone has the right to voice.  But ya have to also give others the respect to do the same.  Not saying anyones opinion is right or wrong, it should be an option for everyone.

No matter what Herm did or did not do she chose to leave the board and she deserved the respect of others seeing the post.  Now as far as what you said about the N posts, that I know nothing of so I will continue to practice what I always have.  If I do not know all the facts about something, it is not my business to put my two cents in.  Dunno about what you said but I respect you for presenting your opinion without a FULL Blown attack.  

I am sure everyone has N traits in some form or another.  I can honestly state that I am not a N, I am not capable of being a N, and I would be damned if I would be a N.  The behavior sickens me and the thought of inflicting harm onto others like they do, in that manner, no can't say it appeals to me.  Not even to my worst enemies could I behave that way.

I have no hard feelings for anyone on that board.  I am not condoning Sands behavior but I chose to pick better things to worry about right now.  I got alot of valuable information from some on that board.  I will be greatful for the valuable information I learned from some on that board.  

I am just sticking to people right now that give unconditional support.  People who have not gave me reason to not trust them.  It is actually hard to know what you can trust anymore.  But I am trusting my gut feeling from this day forward.  I say it is safe here for posting, and what more could ya ask for.  

Best of luck to everyone on the other board.  I wish them no harm, I am just ready to pick my battles by their significance.  I think we have all stated our opinion.  I will speak for myself when I say that I am here to get and give support which is what my intentions were at N-Partners.

[Jaded911]

Haha guest, ya made me laugh.  

I am rubber you are glue whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.

wait what about this guest

I know you are but what am I??

Thanks for the laugh, it has been a long day.  To funny!!

[Guest]

Stop trying to divert attention by making it a collective thing bunny/Hermione.   You know what you wrote.  

It is not name calling, it is a ****FACT**** that this person said this in N-Partners.    I encourge you all to search the archives.   One of you will find it.   You should know who you are dealing with in this forum too, don't you think?

Since I **do** have many other things to do, everything I wrote is all I will write from here on in.

[bunny]

Dear Guest (aka Sand),

You have just proven that you dislike me so much that you are willing to come here anonymously and call me names and insult me. Apparently you can't rest until you have "done" something to me. Well, I did not screw up your group. I left for good reason and I had zero reason to contact you privately. I am not a prisoner, I can leave a group when I want. You seem pretty vindictive. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

yeah, c'mon sand - don't you have some posts to delete or some group members to belittle?

[Guest]

I just HAVE to return once more to say this because it is not fair to Sandahl.

 I PROMISE YOU (though you likely won't believe it & who could blame you I guess),  This is NOT Sandahl.

Think about it, why would I post about Sandahls mistake in all of this, and about not knowing about what went on with Hope??  I would have just addressed whatever happened with hope because if I was Sandahl I would have known.

Also, maybe list managers have different features and could search for a post (I have no idea).    But there is a chance if I was Sandahl, I would have found the post where you say you are an N and directed people here to the link.    Will you say that you didn't write that at N-Partners?

Anyway, not important.   I don't expect you too.  It is *there* in the archives.  

I PROMISE, this is not Sandahl.   I had to write again & say that to be fair to her.

[Anonymous]

guest:

i remember the post in which hermione explained that she had narcissistic tendencies (AS WE ALL DO) and that her narcissism was "not malignant, just a little grandiose."  Obviously she has a large capacity for empathy and introspection, which, if I remember correctly, would tend to disqualify her as a potential candidate for malignant narcissm.  That "confession" would have posted in spring 2003, probably in April, for anyone wanting to narrow down the parameters of their search, if the post hasn't been deleted by the manager, that is.

[igotmeback]

excuse for my english. i saw this too but i don't remember when. it could have been any times and not April because it was really more than a casual comments about having N traist and that's why I remember so much. For this is was surprised.  I don't  have time to search thru all of that stuff. She also talk not too long back about how she and her husband were very,very childish and immature together and everyone on the group just say "no-no" its impossible!    

But even if i said what I knew I don't want to start to bash tihs person-please though.   Judge from what you see HERE that is all. you have to have the direct experience.  thank you

[Anonymous]

Thank you for clearing things up.  I've been on the other board since before sand started running it.  I've seen a lot over there.  I left once before because something was bothering me about it but I went back for
the good advice and the help I received.  I saw most of the posts before they were deleted and I wondered about the people involved.  I also thought about leaving again.  But I'm glad I waited things out and watched both boards.  I'm sorry I can't agree with you.  I can't agree with what Sand did either but as far as I'm concerned she's handled things better than you guys.   I come over here and read and it's like watching
a bunch of little kids arguing and fighting.   It reminds me of a bunch of
teenagers that didn't get their way.

[hope2003]

I remember Hermione making a post as did guest and Igotmeback did. She talks about N tendencies.  

So what?  She gave excellent advice.

Again, all opinions should be respected and tolerated as long as they are conveyed without being offensive.

Perhas those of you who want to cricitize us should go on your way.  You have clearly made your point, and we would like to wrap this up and move on.

whoever (guest) was posting that we are acting like teenagers should consider that either 1)Sand is one of the obnoxious teenagers here anonymously and/or 2)she has taken the npartners board and created enough fear that nobody is really allowed to speak their mind, especially against Sand.  We don't know what people are privately e-mailing her. But, based on what she wrote to me and Mindy, she is as bad as the other "teenagers."

Apply the same standard to everybody, and look at the full set of facts.

[Anonymous]

'Nofights' here

Bunny - just want to clarify - I was not recommending moving on 'without explanation'; on the contrary to me the explanation is the most crucial part.  That's what means I have a voice.  That lets the other interested parties judge for themselves whether my position is valid, etc.  But I will no longer indulge the emotional pull to argue with the person who has so badly violated my boundaries, after I have delivered my explanation.  I think we only hurt our own case when we do so, and provide the 'offender' with more fodder to distract from the original issue.

Some posters have criticized you for not having 'explained' your departure.  For that reason, I wish you had provided an explanation.  I didn't need one, because I knew what was coming as soon as I saw some of sand's replies to your earlier posts, but for the benefit of those who may not have seen Sand in action before like us veterans have, I wish you had provided an explanation so that people could judge for themselves.  Of course it would have been deleted, but so was the one that had no explanation, and the progression would have been no different from what has actually happened.  Some of us would have been able to read it prior to deletion, and some of us would have put up a new post questioning the events, etc.  It always happens the same way.

The only time I do not advocate providing an explanation is when to do so would threaten one's safety.  With N's, I know there are times when that is a factor.  But other than that, I think the explanation is the key.

[hope2003]

no fights, it is nice to hear the voice of reason.  

My sense is that if Herm had posted the reason, her thread would have been deleted that much sooner, and even less members, perhaps nobody would have seen the goodbye.  The thread was started during the day, and was deleted during the day.  that is why so few members saw it to begin with.  Obviously, I read the thread, and saw how quickly it was deleted. So, I caught the whole thing.  

Sand has so much control, that she can really controlt he way that information is distributed to the members.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Acappella]

We only are only ever fully "matured" at the moment just before we die, or actually the very moment we die.  Until then we are always less mature than we will be.  I don't find it insulting to be told that I am alive and growing and have a ways to go.  I am immuature?  Excellent, perhaps it is time to invest in an IRA.  

If Herm or anyone else posts or posted about noticing their own  ineffective actions and feelings (sandahl, care to dare? or dare to care?)that only increases my respect and trust for her/them.  If she does that AND also expresses what she is proud of and what she feels her strengths are well she has one area of life balanced beautifully!  And balance is really just a constant state of teetering between edges anyway isn't it?  It is the teetering that keeps us alert.  Teetering.  Is anyone else finding that one hell of a cute word?
 
It takes a sort of courage and strength to see what we aren't content with in ourselves and face the reality that none of us are perfect. That is part of the reason for connecting with one another in the first place.

Even if this issue of groups breaking up and reforming is reminisant of high school, so what?  I have no shame for feeling out who I feel safe with and who I do not and learning to pay attention to my behavior and feelings and those of others.  Until the whole world is able to live in peace and health together perhaps we should all go back to kintergarden and stay there. Juice, cookies and nap time anyone?  

Teetering Echo/Acappella.

[Anonymous]

'Nofights' here

Echo - absolutely agree on that - herm's post about her own traits (however she described them, it's been a while since I read the post), elicited more respect from me, not less

(and by the way proves to that that she does NOT have NPD)

[GuestPeach]

>(and by the way proves to that that she does NOT have NPD)

Not at all. I don't want to talk about the Herm person or whatever issue that has been going on here (I think you should all move on, like someone else said).  I am only addressing the point of awareness and admittance of NDP that you are eluding to, and the conclusions you've drawn from that as "proof".

Two words for you:  SAM VAKNIN    

And he is one of  *THE* most malignant N's on the face of the earth.

Also remember that N's are masters at EMULATING things like empathy and compassion.