Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?
Bump, Bump, Bump
worseTHAN3rdandUNWANTED?:
HMMM
what is this about 3rd
child
but worse that 3rd and unwanted
might be 3rd and as if very much wanted
as if to fix all that had deteriorated
when a narcisstic mom's husband
is marked as not being able any more
to fulfill her narcisstic needs as the level
she thought she should of course get...
and the only son ,a third child,
shall then provide her for what
her husband failed to....
and when he fails to
..it depends on what type of
narcissistic mom and other things...
in npa personality theory
i theorize genetically
she was an N
dad was an NP
and i was an NPA-
later an NPA=
WELL MY TIMES IS ABOUT UP
ON LIBRARY COMPUTER.....
HASTA LA VISTA BABY :)
XtranscendentBUMPteddy?:
i cant quite figure out
this bump bump bump
string
in regards to the forum listing
when i clicked on the last post in forum to it,
it shows the start of bump.....
as nov 18 2003
and i thought ...ah but maybe not
the first post of a string remained also
on the forum list for HELP
back on nov 18 2003...
but then again i could be mistaken
uh
NEVERMIND :)
amethyst:
Dear Dr. Grossman,
I found this essay last night and am extremely moved. I especially loved this sentence..."That summer she sent a postcard reminding me how much she loved Winnie the Pooh—or as I secretly understood it, how much she loved me." What a wise and resilient little boy you were to understand Miss Wooley's code.
I have heard the expression "cookie people" for the nurturing and loving souls we've meet on our childhood journey...the people that love us for who we are. I am sure that all of us here have met some "cookie people" along the way, or we might not have survived our childhoods.
I had a wonderful high school teacher who became my substitute dad, whose home was mine when I needed shelter, who held me in his arms when I needed to cry, whose office door was always open. He saw something in a shy, silent, homely and awkward girl and he helped me to become as much of a real person as I was capable of being at the time. He gave me the gift of music, art and literature; the humanities. He taught me to think and to express myself. He also was totally honest, called me on my bs when I needed it (quite frequently as a teenager :)), and pulled me back from more than a few slippery slopes. If he thought I was being selfish, superficial or disingenuous, he was there to confront me...and confront me he did. Surprisingly, I never minded his confrontations; he was always spot on. He also pushed me into into doing things I could never have envisioned, like mastering a musical instrument and becoming a public speaker. I know that he totally understood how wounded I was, but he never let me use that as an excuse for bad behavior. Without him, I would have had very little foundation for adulthood.
I was not the only kid he helped. Far from it. A couple of my former high school classmates started a Yahoo group for our graduating class. It is a lovely group. To go back and talk to people that knew us when we were young, without the teenage facades and games, forty years later, is great gift. So many of my former classmates remember his help and how he taught them to be sensitive, insightful, open and honest. Anyway, all of us who came in contact with this outstanding teacher feel the same....our contact with him brought out the best in us. As one of my classmates said,"He taught us to appreciate and nurture the beautiful and the good in others and in ourselves." What a mensch!
So here is to the "Cookie People" of the world...may we pass it on and pay it forward.
Dr. Richard Grossman:
Hi Amethyst,
Thanks for your wonderful reply/remembrance. We were both lucky, weren't we!
Best,
Richard
dogbit:
I have to check this section of the board more often. In such a few words, the Bump, Bump, Bump message told so much. When I was nine, we moved to a very rural village. The neighbors saw and knew more than I was able to see or know since I lived in the middle of my family's chaos. Because it was such a small village, one had to be quite diplomatic unless they be perceived as not minding their own business. One particular incident occurred when a dance was going to happen at my school. My neighbor miraculously made a dress that didn't fit either of her daughters but did fit me. And when she showed me the dress and asked me if I wanted it, she said you know...I think I have a pair of my old high heels that might match this dress. So we went into the armoire and there in a box was a pair of three inch high heels that exactly matched the dress. And they were in my size. She gave them to me. Even though she said they were old, they were obviously brand new. I knew at the time what she was doing. I first felt ashamed having to "accept the kindness of strangers". But in that one act, I not only got to go to the dance but I experienced the relief of knowing that someone else saw what my family was all about and in their way, told me I was worth a new dress. I think that's when I started to protect and eventually regain my spirit. And yes, I know this sounds like a Cinderella story but it really happened and almost 50 years later, I am still best friends with the daughters who didn't fit the dress meant for me! Thanks, Doc, for relating your experience.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version