Thank you all for your warm greeting to the board...I look forward to exchanging ideas and offering support!
It took me a long time to figure out what was wrong with my family. And for years, I didn't have a clue.
My conflict came to a head about six years ago over a relationship that my N mother, N father and N sisters didn't accept.
Despite the fact that I am a responsible, educated, and accomplished adult, they proceeded to stalk and harass me. My mother said some of the most terrible things, and her horrible words (like her voice), will always echo in my mind.
Adding insult to injury, they showed up at my office looking to pick a fight with me in front of my co-workers, called my landlord and said that I was a drug dealer and was living with a prostitute, threw out many of my prized possessions (and car!) that were at my parents' house, called me at all hours to pick fights...and this is just what happened in the first month.
I couldn't eat or sleep or function, so I went to a counselor to try and sort things out. After a few sessions, he said that people in my parents' age group often act in this manner. Huh? I told him that he had to be kidding, but he was serious. I then asked about my N twin sister. We were born at the same time, raised in the same environment, attended the same school, etc.....we could be a case study! His explanation was weak.
The following week, I told the counselor that this was my last session. He became flustered and said that I needed weeks of exit sessions, etc. "You're not ready," he begged. Despite his shameful plea, I thanked him and left.
By luck, I found a new counselor. Within five minutes of the first session, she said that I come from a N family and couldn't believe that I wasn't like them at all. I knew what N was, but didn't know the full ramifications of the disorder.
(Side note: When I asked my new counselor about what she would do/say when I decided to leave, she said, "I would wish you all the best and would be here should you decide to come back." Good answer.)
From there, I learned a lot about N and maintained a silent distance from my family. I also had to distance myself from a few other people in my life who were N.
After five years, I agreed to talk to them again last year under certain conditions. Studying N, reading about it and discussing the past gave me a better framework...but it was hardly perfect.
Two months ago, I was forced to distance myself again as they were all up to their old tricks again....too long of a story to tell, but I had to protect myself.
This all brings me back to the topic of my initial post about Father's Day. Holidays are/were always a tough time for me, and I am often bitter how they've tainted several days of the year for me. I understand why they do it, but it doesn't make this bitter pill any easier to swallow.