My drama update

[bunny]

Hi guys,

I just wanted to update you on my "long-lost boyfriend from 30 years ago" drama. I've seen him in person. It turns out he lives right near my place of work. He looks terrible. He has a chronic, serious condition and looks like he's "been around" (i.e., drugs, alcohol). He's sober now because he has to be. The thing is, he is very, very gentle and sweet. So we are emailing and I'll see him sometimes. It turned out okay (at least so far). I'm actually happy he's back. He needs a friend very badly but he's not needy or sucking the life out of me. I might need a friend, too, but I didn't know it.

Thanks everyone for your support when I was freaking out. I know I can call on you again when I need to. {{{{{ everyone }}}}

bunny

[mum]

That's so nice, Bunny.  I'm sorry the guy has had it rough.  If you will be his friend, he is pretty damn lucky!!!

[Newby]

Bunny,
It is nice that you can be there for him and also have someone to communicate with.  You may assist him in recovering from his past as he can now see you for the wonderful person you are.

[Anonymous]

Hi Bunny

Sometimes we give a little and sometimes we take a little.

That's what friendship is all about.  

Best wishes.
Mia

[Resolution]

You're a big grown up girl and I'd certain you know what you're doing....but take care Bunny, great care!

What happens to most people with NPD Bunny.....that's right, they hit a crisis, fall apart.....and look for someone safe to rescue them! And then what happens.....the cycle kicks in all over again!

I hope that you're not that safe pair of hands that he falls into......and then beats the crap out of later down the road when he's back on his feet!

Just a thought  

[bunny as guest]

Actually I never said he had NPD. I don't think he is a narcissist.

bunny

[October]

I'm glad you made contact, and that you got on well, Bunny.  I know it is a cliche, but old friends really can be very special.  

I know I don't need to warn you about the 'sober' bit.  You're sensible enough to know what that (sometimes) means.  Have fun catching up.  

[Brigid]

Bunny,
I'm glad that your reunion has worked out well.  If he needs help, you are definitely the girl for the job.  You always seem to offer the right answers and I, for one, value your imput immensely.  

I hope things continue to go well.

Brigid

[OR]

Hi Bunny,

You never know what reasons people come back into your life.
Keep us updated on the relationship.

There is a girl who knew my H from 35 yrs ago who by chance found my H's web-site . We have become great friends. My H doesn't know Im friends with her. He would not want me to speak with HIS friends.

She is a CPA and did my taxes for me. This is  the money I have used to help me with the move to TX. She is married and wanted to find out about an old friend, she was very surprized to find the mess his family was in when she found him 6 mos ago.  

Good Luck I hope it all works out for both of you.

OR

[Anonymous]

Hi Bunny:

I bet you are a wonderful friend!   Please take care of you too.

It's good to hear that it is working out so nicely!

Here's hoping he will be as good a friend to you!

GFN

[Guest2]

Hi Bunny,
I have trust issues.  I know this.  Still, I must say that I want you to be careful.   It did sound like from the first contacts with your old bf that he was kind of blaming you for something in a very subtle way.  You are so helpful.  That is a good thing, for everyone else. I don't want it to be a bad thing for you.  I have no idea if I am projecting my stuff onto you.  But something just sounds....I dunno.  Off about the whole thing. Watch out.
Possibly all wrong Guest2

[Anonymous]

Guest2,

You aren't all wrong at all. He wasn't subtly blaming me, he was pretty open about blaming me! And I know I'm not to blame for his subsequent descent into addiction and other tragedies. So I don't take responsibility for any of that. I only take responsibility for being really mean to him when I was 18 years old. I'm 48 now so I am not really losing sleep over it. I've apologized to him and he's forgiven me. HOWEVER you are absolutely right about being careful because I've already had a codependent backslide, panic situation, which was pretty upsetting. All of my rescue fantasies were activated and being gratified! But that made me want more gratification! I haven't done anything majorly stupid and everyone is warned that I am a bit vulnerable right now (I mean my husband, therapist and this group!!).

bunny

P.S. thanks gfn for understanding. sorry I acted out, I was in the panic mode and couldn't admit it.

[Anonymous]

Hey Bunny:

((((((((Bunny))))))))

If you're the only one who's ever gone into panic mode, or acted the least bit out, I'll eat my left shoe!! (and my right one and both my socks....ewwww!! ).

No worries.

GFN

[Anonymous]

PS:

Been there.  Done that.  Survived, somewhat!

GFN