C and I went to see David yesterday. It should have been a relatively good day; he helps organise a local carnival, and we went to lend support, and for C to see him achieving good things. There were some good bits to the day. But there was also another incident, this time when the two of them were at the carnival, and he was taken ill. He wouldn't let her get help so they struggled back to his flat unaided, and he was in a terrible state. We stayed until early evening, and then came home.
So, today we are recovering from that.
At the point where C arrived breathless back at the flat, after taking over an hour to find her way with her dad from the Carnival (he took her the wrong way because he was confused), she said she had left him on a bench and come to find us, so I went with her to find him. Then I sent her to put the kettle on, and she said she got lots of 'you should have done this' and 'you shouldn't have done that' from her nan. Who incidentally she had not seen for three years.
The most satisfying part of the day was speaking the truth to his parents and aunt, who were also visiting for the Carnival. I told the aunt and the mother that there is a lot of talk about David this and David that, but precious little about C. So the aunt said, 'Well, she is his mother', and I replied, 'Yes, and she is C's grandmother, but you wouldn't think it.' I told them that David is dying, and that they need to realise that and do what they can for him.
I also wrote David's will with him before they came, and discussed funeral arrangements, and we had a mad half hour playing very loud music, with him and C dancing to it, and planning to wake the church up, and I wrote the names of the favourite tracks on a piece of paper and left it with the will, also signed by David. Then he took the form with him to see some friends but didn't get it signed, so I later asked his aunt to sign it with me (I am not a beneficiary so I hope it is legal enough). His parents said nothing, but they looked very disapproving. His aunt kept on asking him if it was what he wanted, and he kept on saying, yes. I said if not, all you have to do is tear the thing up the moment we walk out of the door.
Now wrestling with very difficult decisions about what to do next.
