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Met narcissist at Recovery Board...

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Anonymous:
PS: And oh - although my ex-husband had borderline personality disorder, he was EXCEEDINGLY handsome and also very tall - so I at least knew the difference between someone who was ALL THAT physically, and who wasn't!!  :wink:  :D

Argusina:
(I, Argusina, posted the two comments - sorry forgot to put my name)

Unwise:
Argusina,
I certainly didn't have to re-read your post because of your writing skills. It just struck so close to home. After I ended the relationship with the aformentioned fellow, I came to the conclusion that he was a predator of sorts. After hearing about how he got involved with all the other women in his life (All the details if you can imagine), it  occured to me that he only pursued women who were not strong emotionally. (Including me) Possibly due to my upbringing, I had no clue how to establish or enforce any of the normal boundries that most folks are used to. And it appeared that he could "sniff out" women in that prediciment and use them up, which he did.

So, now in this day of the internet, imagine how easy it is for poeple like that to do their cruising through the computer rather than in bars. They don't even have to pop for the price of a drink! And what better place to look for their prey than a message board where men and women come together for support and understanding.

Anonymous:
I'm sorry, Unwise, that you had to go through all that  :(

I think that since I had already been through hell with my exbp husband I had gotten educated on narcissistic behavior - so my warning bells started ringing quite early... I was also lucky because there is a big geographical distance between us...

I agree with you describing them as predators - they have no empathy for their "prey"... it's like they need to eat someone up to acquire some of their strength/love. I would say my weakness was that I was "strong" in a dysfucntional way, that is more tolerant to enduring abuse.

But THIS time the outcome of the scenario (childhood one) was different. I stood up for myself!  8)

Unwise, I hope you are safe now and far away from these miserable N people...

Unwise:
Argusina,
Thank you, I am away from most of them, and now I believe I can recognize them when they come around. My parents chose to have no contact with me and when I met my husband, I recognized him as a dear sweet man and asked him out. So most of the Ns are no longer in my life. Mostly I browse this forum to try and understand and to learn to cope with the few that I do have contact with. My MIL lives with us and while I can't really describe her as an N, there are times that she drives me nuts. Since it has only been this year that I have started to stand up to her and set some boundries, I often come here often to gleen these skills. It has been fairly successful so far. I feel that I am moving from voiceless to just above a whisper. I consider it a great improvement and hope to go further. It is wonderful to find such a resource of articulate compasionate people. Hopefully, I will be able to offer my support to some who need it also.
(Maybe I can also change my username to something less self-depreciating)

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