Dogbit
My N-H wrote me an e-mail saying almost the exact same thing about me. I left him because he told me to get mental help and off drugs this is why I left. He told his BIL he plans on saying Im on drugs and a drunk. (I don't drink, only drugs I take are hormones, otherwise I may have already done him harm.
I found a website I think Bunny gave his name, he is a PD lawyer expert, giving seminars and offers his service to speak for you with mediators about all types of PD. What a judge can expect and how to deal with this type, the lies they will tell and other difficulties.
The energy I would spend on making sense to the mediator about the crazy person, could jepordize my short time to focus on our D. Already I feel better to have someone else explain how to see through the lies. I do have lots of crazy e-mails and the mental evaluation that says he is an N but my N-H is so dense he can't see it, and Im just done with defending myself about all the lies.
Bridgit
I honestly thought at one time about starting a networking group for women having to go through the divorce processI found a web site with all kinds of stories, questions about divorce, child custody and found some good things to know.
As I was reading through the replys I found most the legal-beagals were cold and heartless. One reply read well you made your bed too bad. You decided to sleep with the guy now you have a kid too bad. They just have no tact or compassion.
Maybe they should be this way if they want to be the pit-bull of the group. I think when you deal with people emotions are high and maybe a little understanding would go along way with the posters on their site.
I felt most people had the same questions. Most responses from the wana-be lawyers had no value, but some did.
People that have gone through the same things could offer hope to the hurting.
I think this site had hundreds that felt lost and worried about their children and many, many questions went unanswered.
Judges have the ultimate rule, doesn't always depend on the lawyers to make it happen.
I read stories where people did their own paper work never involved lawyers and had the judge see it their way.
I also saw where you should have one to review pensions, making sure you have your home refinanced and don't trust anyone to do the RIGHT thing. The real stories of people like you had more to give than the lawyers being heartless with their cold and sometimes ignorant answers.
Dogbit, I think the attorney you have may be the norm, it would be rare to find a lawyer who had feelings about everthing you are going through. I know the shaky feeling when you feel the pit-bull in the room, but N's think they are pit bulls I know my H thinks he is. Pit-bulls love to fight other dogs, they like people. Let the N-attorney go at it, just remind her you are people, save the heartless fight for the other dogs. ..................OR