Transactional Analysis / Drama Triangle

[CeeMee]

RL,thanks for getting back on that.  Miss P told me the same.  I am an E (IMHO).  I love being around people and have a genuine interest in people's background, culture, history whatever.  I've always been like this.  I'm not afraid of difference.  In fact I love it.  The more different, the better. 

I know what you mean about thinking deep and sharing deep.  I still have a hard time with superficial though.  I've never been one for the ritualistic strokes of small talk.  I'm still reading Games People Play and I'm sure Berne will tell me more about that.  When I meet someone else who shares on that same deep level, we hit it off and can enjoy a lengthy conversation.  As I've said before, that's hard given where I am living now.  This board is my only  escape from a see of superficial.

CeeMee

[CeeMee]

Sorry RL that post just before this was for SF

I was going to write you next.

Are  you thinking/feeling that writing a post without addressing it is improper?  Can this just be a style difference in posting?  Some use the quote feature, and that serves as notice of what the poster is responding to. 

Hope you'll be joining us again soon,

CeeMee

[October]

October
(I -at least- have the decency of naming the person I am posting to...).
As said earlier, I am not gonna play games. I know what transferance is.
I will not post on this thread anymore and won't read your answer -if any on this thread either.
I will be away from this board for a while.
Sorry.
Good luck w/ your next therapist.
-RL

ResilientLady

Whoever you have a problem with, believe me it is not me.  I have respect for Myers Briggs, and I genuinely am what I said; INFP.  I may not have said so here, but that is because I have other things going on that are taking all my energy, and I have none to spare for what is really a complex issue.  Perhaps it was me connecting it with being Libra and a Rat?  Well, some people believe in those things just as strongly as you believe in MB.  What is wrong with that?  I was answering all eventualities, as a lighthearted aside, but not actually putting any of them down, if you look.

I agree there is transferance happening here.  Sometimes someone becomes like a lightning conductor for this to happen; I have had this happen before and it is familiar to me.  But can you look at the words again and see that whatever you are feeling from me is not actually caused by my words; that is why I asked, where is the feeling coming from.  Who has made fun of you, or belittled what you say?  It is not me, and I have not seen anyone else here do so, either.

What I can see is actually there is someone who is not as resilient as she wishes she were.  And there I can empathise with you every step of the way.  And I am on your side. 

Go in peace.

[Awen]

I am really confused here.  Was it me?  Did I say something wrong?  I feel like I'm totally missing something here.    Ususally perceptive INTP, except not always so good with getting the Feeling function working right.    In this case, totally perplexed.

[Sallying Forth]

SF I was trying to understand what you wrote and hoped you might clarify.

"Actually I never knew my bioNfather other than in context of abuse"

I'm not sure I understand.  Did you know him in the flesh (your bioNfather)?

I never did answer these questions you asked. Thought I would do that right now.

I knew my bioNfather in the flesh. However I was young and our relationship only involved torture and abuse.

"In my inner world my bioNfather (I didn't realize he was my bioNfather) was an okay guy and I loved him"

Does this mean that you painted this okay guy in your mind and loved him as an idea?

Yes. I thought he was a good guy. In my books he is a good guy that is until I begin to uncover the truth. Then I write about who he really is: a rapist, a torturer and a sadist.

"...when I accepted that this internalized man was my bioNfather AND my abuser.  Since then I hate him."

Does this mean that your feelings about this idea of him changed just like that when you associated him with abuse?
 
CeeMee

Yes, it was nearly instanteous. The moment I realized who he was I no longer thought of him as the "good guy."