By way of introduction, I am somebody who formerly frequented this and other message boards about narcissism and was helped immeasurably by them, so I still come back from time to time. My (wonderful and like me, codependent) fiance found a computer file his (hugely narcissistic) ex-wife had written a long time ago. I thought it was a classic example of the narcissistic sense of entitlement, so wanted to share it. It also nicely illustrates the analogy that narcissists are essentially three-year-old psyches inside adult bodies. By the way, my fiance's name is NOT Mark (i.e., his ex-wife would travel with other men while she was married to him, and she would demand that he pay for the trip). Peace and love to all...
I do not want to take other people’s trips anymore.
I don’t want to go to countries other people choose.
I don’t want to go to countries that I even may have chosen but go on other people’s itineraries. I want to choose my own itinerary in each country.
I want to choose how long I am going to go and not be forced to choose that based on how long the other person wants to go.
I want to go during the time of year that I choose and not the time of year or dates that someone else chooses.
I don’t want to be getting someone else a plane ticket by redeeming my own points, I want to use the points for myself and if I use them for someone else they aren’t there for me to use. Plus, it is a HUGE hassle to be on the phone figuring out flights and dates and the other person isn’t there and I have no clue as to what dates or flights would be best for them.
I want to choose my own style of travel. For example, I don’t want to party because someone else wants to party. I don’t want to see castles and gardens just because someone else wants to see those.
I want to choose the order in which I see things in a particular city.
I want to choose the types of things I want to see in each city.
I want to have my own sleep schedule, not someone else’s sleep schedule. I want to be able to get up when I want to and go to sleep when I want to. I don’t want to get up at the same time every morning because we are catching breakfast or going on a tour.
I want to space my trips the way I want to space them and not because someone else has to go on these dates, therefore I have to.
I don’t want to have back to back trips because I am accommodating someone else’s dates that they have to go.
I want to pick the number of days I stay in each place within a country.
I want to figure out how much of the country I want to see. Maybe I just want to see the eastern part, the other person wants to see the entire country.
I want to drive when I want to and rest when I want to.
I want to stay as long as I want to and as short as I want to at each tourist stop without being told by someone else it is too long or too short.
I want to be able to get to the airport when I want to, e.g Spain with Tes.
I want to stay at the types of hotels I want to, and not have to stay at B and B’s because someone else can’t afford the places I can stay at.
I don’t want to be confined by someone else’s budget as to what I can do on a trip, e.g. hotels v. b and b’s, meals.
I want the emphasis on my activities, not someone else, e.g Phyllis loves to eat.
I don’t want to have to get up at a certain time to catch breakfast because it is part of the package deal.
I only want to travel with people I am COMPLETELY comfortable with. I don’t want to have to hassle with someone else’s personality on a trip that I am supposed to be having fun on.
I want to travel with someone who pays me back, e.g. Theresa,, Tes= NO
I want to travel with someone who doesn’t keep trying to shortchange me on money or argue with me about money, e.g. Mark
I want to travel with someone who does their fair share of the work before and during the trip, e.g. Mark, Vicki
I don’t like small hotel rooms or small bathrooms.
I don’t like moving from place to place every night. I like staying in one place and unpacking so that I can find things and don’t have to keep putting the suitcase on the bed.
I want to research things myself and see what is exciting to me that I would want to see. I want to be able to read books and know that I will get to see the things I have marked in yellow.
I want to stay at hotels that I know will have shampoo, conditioner, soap, telephone, clock, pen and paper by the nightstand, a nightstand for each person.
I don’t want to get there and then find a place to stay. I want to make all the reservations here.
I don’t want to go on a trip where someone wants to go to discos and try to pick up a guy instead of just spending the time with me. If they want to spend the time with someone else on the trip, I don’t want to be there.
I don’t want to have to put clothes in my suitcase for activities that I don’t want to do, e.g., going to nightclubs in Spain.
I don’t want to hold someone else’s plane ticket for them until we meet at the airport, e.g. Tes in Spain
I want to travel with people who will also do the driving.
