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FREE TICKET TO THE THEATRE: Starring a Narcissist
CC:
Yeah, when I reread my earlier posts on one of the letters from mommie dearest I forgot to include a part about the French citizenship thing: She expressed such concern about my aunt suggesting that paperwork because you know, "shes a FOREIGNER" and compared my aunt's suggestion to some "Muslim fathers that have dual citizenship in the middle east steal their wives' babies and never to return to the states"....
How demented is that??? This is my extended FAMILY she's talking about!!! And is she insinuating that my husband is going to steal our own baby out of the country???? And we're talking EUROPE here! (Please, any middle easterners please take no offense to my ranting mothers crazy antics).
Thanks again for the support... the fight now is controlling my own behaviors, not hers. I am still struggling with telling her too much. This is going to take a long time to change.
Avery:
OMG!!! She IS my mother!!!! Is it common for N's to be ignorant about race?? My mother is so hateful!!! She has some derogatory comment about everyone who is not a white american. drives me crazy!! :x
she's also given me the grief about my husband. hinting that he is not to be trusted. told me to get a secret savings account to hide money "for when he leaves you" and to make sure that my name is on everything so that i can take it from him. when i told her we were engaged, she told me i had no business getting married!! :shock: i actually considered not going through with it. your mother is supposed to be the one that would never tell you something that wasn't the best for you. i can't believe she made me doubt myself! i thank god everyday that i have such a wonderful husband and that she didn't ruin it for me.
i arranged the entire wedding around her vacation schedule - dumb- and then, cancelled at the last minute because she was too sick and too poor to go (it was in vegas.). i offered to pay her way, if she felt up to it. she declined. i called her the day that we left for vegas and she wasn't in. i called my granny to make sure that something hadn't happened to her. my granny told me that she was out of town... she'd gone to mississippi to go gambling!!! :evil: she was too "sick" to take a 3 hour plane ride, but perfectly fine to ride in a car for 13 hours! grrrrr. i'm sure she did it just because i did something against her wishes.
i was heartbroken and my husband was PISSED!! had to explain to everyone why my mother wasn't there, etc. i still had a wonderful wedding, thanks to my husband and my friends and my wonderful stepmother.
thanks to you and this board, i'm finally seeing how dumb i've been in letting her manipulating me. it's so much easier not to talk to her!
thanks for all your support...you're doing great!
avery
Write:
<Is it common for N's to be ignorant about race?? My mother is so hateful!!! She has some derogatory comment about everyone who is not a white american. drives me crazy!! >
yup, this is my experience: look for racism/ sexism/ homophobia/ anything-ism in NARCISSISM!
My friends N husband is so vehement about the Gay Bishops he gives himself away as the repressed homosexual others see in him.
My Npartner loves to illuminate others as to what women are really like, starting with 'acceptable' beliefs but quicklyy moving to how women need to be dominated.
The surface veneer, for polite society, is most illuminating: starts with a lecture about equal rights, ends in vitriolic condemnation of someone or some group.An N shows his or her true colours pretty fast after starting any in-depth discussion! Unfortunately few people see through it- and if they do, N always finds a reason to drop them pretty fast.
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