The N-t wanted to institutionalize me against my will.
Michael wanted to do this to me too. One day I got badly triggered at a garden party at his house; several things were happening - one person had left taking my car keys with her, and I couldn't get into my car, so some of the men were getting in through the sunroof, to reach my housekeys, and I was ok with that, but then M's wife started trying to get me to take some of the leftover food home with me, and I couldn't do that. (Food issues.
) and I got really stressed so I checked d was playing happily with his daughters and I left. I have this trick where I pretend to be invisible and then I am. I walked quietly past a dozen or so people around my car, and they did not see me.
When I was out of sight I ran and ran, intending to keep going forever and not come back, but in the end I went home, because if I broke into the back door I could get my spare car keys. Fortunately for me a neighbour was there. He saw that I was in a state, so made me a cup of tea, then rang Michael and said he would bring me back in half an hour or so. Michael said he would come and get me but my neighbour refused this, very firmly.
Anyway, my car was open by then, which was good; I didn't have to break into the house. And the car keys had been returned.
When I got back to his house, Michael wouldn't let me see my daughter. He took me into his study and was really, really angry, and accused me of abandoning her, and of being irresponsible. He told me that I needed to be admitted to hospital, and I said no. I am not going into hospital. I was really firm about that, and stood up to him, and he did not know what to do with me. The stronger I was, the more worried he became. He was very, very angry with me. I was angry too, but in a cold way. He thought this was out of character, but actually it wasn't. I am very easy going until I am pushed too far, and then I stop dead, like the most stubborn, muleheaded person in the world. There was no way I was going to listen to his suggestion for one minute.
I took my daughter home, and later went to my doctor and told her about this, and about what Michael had said, but she did not think he was right. She certainly did not suggest hospitalisation.
No other professional has ever suggested such a thing to me, in all these years. Michael was the only one. And it was because I stopped being compliant to what he wanted from me.
Thanks for all the sites. And insights.
