Those of us who grew up dysfinctional, there are just certain ceremonies that we will not have, and that we will never know whether they are genuine for anyone else. Holidays, birthdays, weddings......tend to be more of a nightmare or a celebration of the family illness rather than a wonderful lovefest.
I don't know how these are treated in healthy families. I only know what I see in my family and in the movies. I tend not to believe the movies.
So my approach is just that I have to create my own reality. I can decide to make birthdays really important and try to somehow implement that. Or I can decide not to do that and let them slip by almost unnoticed. My plan is plan B.
Bloopsy, I understand your mourning for your lost childhood and teenagerhood and young adulthood. I feel the same, even though it was a long time ago. It is fine to mourn. Don't get too into it. There is nothing you can do about that, but you can do, and are doing, a lot about the future. It's not fair. It wasn't right. But we will move on.
I am having a wonderful childhood wth my own children. And I anticipate reliving being a teen without the doubts and physical blips. I have so much more control than I had over my own childhood! I can make it magical!
Plucky
