Repost..Now registered...Need out

[seasons]

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[Sallying Forth]

((((((((((((((((((((Seasons)))))))))))))))))))) Big, big hugs!


YOU ARE NOT A COWARD!!!

You ARE a very brave and courageous woman to have survived your childhood.

You were powerless as child to do anything to stop the abuse of others. What happened to your Nsis's daughters is NOT your fault in any manner, shape or form!

Your Nsis's xh is a freaking monster!

The way out is through the pain, the anger, healing your childhood losses, finding your true self and separating yourself from your Nsis. The journey to finding your voice has all ready begun.

Btw you expressed yourself very well. Tell us more when you are ready.

[October]

Hi everyone,

Thanks, from the bottom of my heart for listening, if you have gotten this far. I can anwser any questions if I've been unclear. My writing skills stink, and i'm nervous.
   

Hello, Seasons, it is very good to meet you.

It sounds to me as if your Nsister is using you as her personality.  She does not know where she ends and you begin, and has managed to blur the boundaries so effectively that you are left feeling confused and invaded pretty well every moment of the day.

This is a very complex situation, and there is no easy way out of it. The first step is to find out what this kind of enmeshment means, and how it works.  Then the second is the old adage 'Know thyself'.  The better you get to know who you are and what you want, the easier it will be for you to see the dividing line.  Once you can see it more clearly, then you will be able to take the steps you need to take to protect yourself.  This will be difficult, but it will be much easier for you than for your sister, because this time you will be in control.

If you can find a therapist to help you in this process, then that would be best, but even without that there is a lot that you can do to free yourself.  Finding this site should be a big help towards that, because you will find people here who understand where you are, and will not judge you for having been abused. 

[mudpuppy]

Welcome Seasons,

As far as the abuse goes i feel helpless, please don't hate me for feelling like a coward. My instances we're over 30 years ago and his kids will protect him till death. Or kill me if i did.............
I never told my parents about my abuse, i didn't want them to know as i got older, wanted to still be their sweet daughter in their eyes, not dirty from all of this. kwim?

The only person anyone would hate in your story is the pedophile, who should be, IMO, waiting his turn on death row. Or better yet, already a graduate and presently matriculating in hell.
Some people might hate your sister as well, but no one will think ill of you for being abused or too scared of the animal to speak out.
Nor are you dirty from all of this. He is. You are an innocent victim. His kind of dirt doesn't rub off on other people, its all his own. I hope you can see that.

Are you strong enough, or do you have the desire to cut this sister and her insane "family" out of your life?
I don't see how any good can come of being sucked into the awful mess these people are living.
Your sister is sick and she's trying to make you sick along with her. Misery loves company.
If you can, I would get as far away from these toxic whackos as I possibly could and never look back.
I do have one question.

Help me get out, i have a wonder family that needs me back!

What does this mean?
You said your parents and brother passed away and your sisters are nuts. Who's left?
Are you married and away from your family?

At least you've taken a first step. Hope you keep on walking, fast.

mudpup

[seasons]

The

[mudpuppy]

Hi Seasons,

I have a husband and three daughters. And yes GUILT for not getting her out of my life sooner.

I kind of think guilt is what we feel when we've done something we shouldn't have and haven't done anything to fix it. So the best way to get rid of any guilt you feel is to try and fix the problem.
It doesn't sound like it will be easy to get these weirdos out of your life, but at least you can make a plan and get started. I think the feelings of guilt will subside once you can see some progress. Once you're free of her you might have some regrets about not doing it sooner, but I bet the guilt will be largely gone. Especially if your family life with the family that matters, your husband and kids, gets better. Feeling happy instead of anxious, guilty and miserable cures a whole lot of things.
You can do it.

mud