Hi Dandylife and all! I've shared a few times on different threads my experience and thoughts on this topic. I lived with a N who fit all the criteria diagnostically for somatic N and sex addiction. He started down this road when at age 13 he was combining masturbation with drugs and porn. So he learned at crucial and impressionable age to see women as nothing but objects to be used sexually and sae them as body parts. No intimacy at all or even friendships with teenage girls. He used to have agenda in high school of preying on girls who liked him and pressured or seduced them into sleeping with him, only to abandon and on to the next one. Anyone who spurned him was a "bitch". I discovered his sex addiction by finding numerous phone sex numbers that I discovered he'd had lifelong memberships to. Spent significant amounts of money- incl. money from our joint money account( small amounts so it was not obvious at first). Had a male friend do this research as I had all the necessary info you need to set up membership and find out if current and money spent. confronted him- of course, " I was the liar"- huge crazy making convoluted implausable arguments. Next I discovered multiple porn sites, interactive chat rooms, email addresses of numerous women he regularly corresponded with ( daily) for sex, ads from various escorts who specialize ins" girlfriend experience)- read( hoookers), correspondence with teen age girls incl. pics. Numerous highly disturbing porn, S&M sites. Male porn sites and correspondence with many men. All denied and turned back on me" You're stupid...don't know how computers work...all this was unsolicited( that's why he has approx. 50 different email addresses and all stuff marked- " reply to B"..., phone company has all info wrong- confusing me with someone else". Pathetic childish responses! As for our twisted sex life- again all this behaviour is text book for somatic Ns- no sex for many months at a time( allegedly depressed and was taking antidepressants that do have impotency etc. as side effects). I would make all the moves- he never i nitiated sex and often had to puruse his porn before coming to bed. No touching at all on his part- just the jiucy bits( pardon the pun!). Only missionary position, always in the dark, no talking, and never in daylight. Told me repeatedly that he has never been turned on by naked women- incl. his escorts, teens etc. total fetish with clothes- leather, pvc, latex, S&M, all manner of shoes and heels etc. Would stare atm e with undisguised disgust when he did see me naked and criticize me...too thin, breast too small etc". Not to toot my own horn, but I model, look many yrs. younger than my age and always have men hit on me. bottom line is he was totally incensed when any man looked at me, tried to stop me going out with male friends, listened in on phone conversations, publicly accued friends of sleeping with me... This whole sex addiction has really scarred me and left me feeling disgusted and unable to even think about sex. Can't watch TV, intimidated by young women on the street( ridiculous considering I'm not with him) etc. Am in therapy already and have been for yrs so this area is topic I'm working on. Also have a referral to a psych.trist who specializes in sex addiction for them and significant others/families. Abusive, degrading, self esteem killing torture. Moira PS- he was spending all day , every day binging on all these activities- didn't work( " too depressed and couldn't find work at his age").