Ben,
I wanted to write in response to this obviously painful situation you are going through, hopefully you are still reading.
I'm not sure what has upset you, but I can recall a post that I read in the Harassment string that I thought might cause some pain. The exact words escape me now, but I beleive that it said something along the lines of "being too self absorbed." When I read it, I immediately wondered if the comment was covertly being directed to your post or was it just meant as a personal reflection of the poster (the post has since disappeared from the board).
Your reaction is one I have experienced many times. Did it feel like an underhanded slap in the face for opening your heart and showing your vulnerability and pain? I could totally see how it could and it may well have been meant in that way. I don't know. I wasn't the poster. But in reading the post and as one who has reacted this way all too often in the past, I could also give the "offender" the benefit of the doubt. I could believe (if I choose to) that the poster meant no harm to me whatsoever and was simply reflecting on his/her own issue or personal thoughts. In my experience, it works to my advantage in the long run when I give the percieved offender the benefit of the doubt. Taking it personally only serves to increase my pain and anger and many times, I have come to find out later, that I was wrong in my initial perception.
Looking at it from another angle, as a newby to this board only months ago, I have posted reply comments that I did not put much thought into and upon reflection realized that they may not have taken into consideration how the reader might be impacted. I have been particularly guilty of not recognizing someone's sensitivity to an issue and responding cavalierly. I did not do it intentionally but it could have been perceived that way by others.
So I have been on both sides of this issue. I give some folks the benefit of the doubt and maybe they give me the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully it works out in the end. Communication is wrought with pitfalls, but as we strive to navigate more carefully, we can learn so much. Taking a breather from the board is not a bad idea. I've done it and came to find that I learn more from reading than posting.
Maybe I'm way off the mark here, but I wanted to share these thoughts with you for whatever validation they may provide.
CeeMee
