Dissociative Identity Disorder

[Sallying Forth]

I am among the third category of people, whose prognosis is the least good, ie those with substance abuse problems who are still enmeshed with thier abusers however I am recovering in AA and trying to get away from my family so soon I will make it into another group or something. Anyway, thank you for being so nice and kind that means a lot. i am so upset when I told my twin sister she just sort of didn't even give me a hug and then 2 minutes later she wlked awsay and was like I am tired. I was so hurt but ended up comforting her whatev. I know it is because she has her own problems but so do I and when she told me she had BDD I was nice and read about it and talked to her. Whatev. I don't need to be treated like it doesn't matter that I have a horribl,e problem , like it is all a matter of whatev with everything.

I'm so sorry to hear about your twin sister treating you like this.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bloopsy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


I haven't told anyone in my family and I've known about my diagnosis for 17 years. I've done this out of self-protection because no matter what my Nparents and Nbrother would say, "Yep, always thought she was a little crazy."

More like I lived in a crazy, f*$#ed up family!

It took me until I was in my early 30s to gain some physical and emtional distance from my abusive family. You are fortunate to see what's going on at an earlier time in your life. I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 36 and even then no real help until I was 39. That's because back in the late 1980s MPD was considered very rare and then only those with "typical" MPD were diagnosed (3, 4 or 5 alters).

[pink]

Sallying, I used to have a b/f with 4 or 5 alters. In a way, it seemed to work for him. Do you think it's always a bad thing? I mean, obviously no, because it was a coping mechanism that worked for him (being one of his only siblings not to totally self-destruct).

I have read that DID is controversial in some corners in that some feel it might be an all right coping mechanism that does not need to be healed. And I'm just wondering what your thoughts and feelings are about this. (My ex-DID b/f was a tyrant in his first marriage and a victim of an intimidator N in his second marriage and still has not totally recovered from that abuse.)

What I'm wondering is whether his dissociative disorder really helps him or hurts him. Well, I know it hurts him to some extent because what finally broke us up was a sort of last straw for me when he went into the personality that is arrogant and doesn't care about anyone.

But he has one alter that is really loving and wise. (Each alter has an animal name -- such as a types of birds, etc.) I'm just wondering -- is it really the point to get rid of the different personalities, or just to start spending most of one's time in the healthiest one you've got?

[Wil]

Bloopsy,

You ARE very brave. I know, because I was there. I was abused from 1 to 26.  I desparately hung on to my sanity, even as I was hiding under layers upon layers of mental and physical protection.  The only things that helped me during that time was prayer and church (from a young age I held on to the firm notion of RIGHT and WRONG, and that what my dad was doing to us was ABSOLUTELY WRONG, no matter what the reasons where) and the fact that me and my brother and sister talked about the abuse behind closed door, analyzing our father as if we were litte dectectives/therapists).  I had a pychotic break when I was 26 (by that time I had a emotional breakdown in high school when I was 17 but didn't know it). I was in bed for 3 months.  I SURVIVED 10 years, with my real self hiding deep within me, who was VERY, VERY angry. I was diagnosed DID, PSTD, and Reactive Attachment Disorder, and have slowly come out of it. I am now 32, have cut off all contact with my dad. Emotionally and developmentally, I jump between 2, 10, 15, 17. The way I talk and my perceptions of reality can change in an instant.   A few years ago I really knew inside I was 19, but sometimes it fluctuates because of the way I was abused. i guess that's 'normal'.  Imagine you as your developmental stages, from 0 - present, and they are all trying to grow to maturity, and connect to the next developmental stage, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I was telling my supportive friends, you've 20 odd years to grow up, I'm doing it in 5! If I could, may I suggest some therapies:

EMDR
Crainial-Sacral Therapy
and Emoto-Somatic Release.

The last two are extrememly powerful, as they heal the mind-body connection, which was broken by our survival tactics, but should by done by EXPERIENCED professionals, perferrably psychologists, IMO.  EMDR was very good as well but having a one session of CST or ESR leaving me lying on the bed unable to get up for the next hour and a half.  If you need a recommendation don't hesitate to ask me.

Healing is very painful; but it is worth it.  In my experience my bed was my best friend for the last 5 years.  Good luck and God Bless.

[pink]

Wil, you are awesome -- BRAVO....!!!!!!!!!