Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Facing the monster
mudpuppy:
Hey vunil,
Don't forget, if Cadbury tells Tithead 'his' five month old son is fluent in French he'll probably actually believe it and claim he taught him everything he knows while they were crawling together a couple of months ago. :?
--- Quote ---If so would you mind taking a few photos on Saturday
for me please?
--- End quote ---
Hi Cadbury,
Wasn't it you I suggested send a picture of a baboon to your ex nut and tell him 'here's the chip off the old blockhead' a while back? Here's the perfect opportunity. :wink: He's begging for it. :P
mud
Cadbury:
You all make me feel so much better! I had to laugh.
--- Quote from: vunil on October 27, 2005, 06:39:13 PM ---Sitting up and eating! Tell him that, yes, you often go to fine restaurants and you are pleased because the baby is now fluent in french and can order wine for the table.
--- End quote ---
So funny Vunil! I was thinking about it! I told him that our son (A) is close to crawling, which is really quite early. He said "Well, I crawled at three months, so that's to be expected" ... Of course he did.... I just smiled and nodded, smiled and nodded ......
--- Quote from: October on October 27, 2005, 05:26:52 PM ---
--- Quote from: Cadbury on October 27, 2005, 05:03:53 PM ---
I definitely think I will have to ask for 2 weeks notice from now on. I just worry about court and all that. I feel stupid having jumped as quickly as I did, but I thought that may look better to the judge. I just don't know. I will be thinking of you October too on Saturday. If it helps, the way you cope with your situation gives me strength :)
--- End quote ---
... there is something I always remember, when dealing with difficult situations; it is far easier to get forgiveness than permission. :lol:
--- End quote ---
Wise words, thank you October. I have told him that I need notice as to whether he can come to contact of at least two weeks, which he has agreed to. The important difference is that I am going to mean it :)
--- Quote from: Brigid on October 27, 2005, 05:35:49 PM --- Do not engage him, don't tell him anything he doesn't ask about, keep anything having to do with the future very vague, and be as indifferent to him as you can possibly muster. This may be a performance of a lifetime (I know, math is your thing, not acting--but fake it as best you can :shock:), but the more you can do this, the more likely it is that he will get bored with the dance and go find another partner.
--- End quote ---
Thank you Brigid... I did my best. The best acting I did was when he told me he had been hit by a car last week... I didn't even smile! I acted vaguely concerned "oh dear". When I got home I told my mum and laughed myself silly. Sounds cruel, but the thought of someone driving at him was just too much. Apparently it has been caught on CCTV ... now there's a Christmas present I really want!
--- Quote from: mudpuppy on October 27, 2005, 09:42:54 PM ---Wasn't it you I suggested send a picture of a baboon to your ex nut and tell him 'here's the chip off the old blockhead' a while back? Here's the perfect opportunity. :wink: He's begging for it. :P
--- End quote ---
Yes, Mudpuppy, it was! It made me laugh then and it made me laugh now! In the end I just didn't bring my camera at all and didn't mention it.
So... the conact wasn't as awful as I though it would be. Mostly thanks to all of you calming me down before hand! I kept as distant as possible. Sat right by A so he wouldn't worry about the stranger with him. I was polite, but as distant as I could manage. Tithead (TH) hadn't seen A for 4 months and brought him absolutely nothing. Not a toy, not a present, nothing. Well, what did I expect?
He talked about himself for ages, but it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated... which worries me.
mudpuppy:
Hi Cadbury,
--- Quote ---He said "Well, I crawled at three months, so that's to be expected"
--- End quote ---
No doubt he delivered a lecture at Oxford at four months about his crawling at three months. :x :P
I'm very glad things went better than you anticipated, and I wouldn't worry about it one bit.
Just shows you're stronger than you think. :wink:
mud
Hopalong:
Cadbury,
Sounds as though you were truly in control, and your response to the accident story was MASTERFUL. I really believe that the more you practice this "dull politeness" the easier it's going to get. I'm totally impressed by how you've internalized some new, self-protective behaviors. What's more I think that although the "non-reactive" stance may feel like it's not really you right now, after practicing it more, every single time, it really will become you. You'll actually BE underwhelmed, not overwhelmed, and actually feel not much of a reaction to him (except boredom, irritation, which you can successfully hide, as you've just found out).
Congratulations to new on a brave and competent and sane, sane new course.
Nothing's going to stop you now!
Hopalong
October:
Welll done, Cadbury. I am pleased you survived so well.
(Our own contact did not take place. C didn't want to go, so we didn't go. I rang and told ex that we are both tired of running after him, and responding to his dramas, and decided that enough is enough.)
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version