Believing in me

[Faith101]

Greetings to all.

I'm kinda new on this board and would like to know your thoughts on my query.  Looking back on my life and now understanding better on why I said the things I said and did the things I did, I come to believe that it all boils down to lack of believing in myself.  I feel that the level of self belief determines how far a person goes in life and realizing one's inner potentials.  My questions are: How have you dealt or is dealing with believing in yourself?  And what are the things you've done or is doing to nurtur this seed of self-believe to make it grow into gradual maturity?

Thanks for any thoughts.

Faith

[Sallying Forth]

Hello Faith,
Welcome to the board!

My entire healing journey has been about coming to believe in myself, accept myself, trust myself and love myself.

How have I done this?
Reading books and following through on suggestions in those books.
Keeping a journal and writing in it daily about my thoughts and feelings.
Going to therapy and talking about what I am learning about through reading and writing.
Writing books on my abuse and recovery from the abuse.
Painting, drawing, playing music on an instrument, listening to music, etc.
Trying something new whether it is an exercise or getting a massage to get more in touch with my body or listening to new music or ?.
Joining this board and sharing my story and supporting others on their journeys.
Being willing to change no matter how painful.
Being willing to look at myself critically and being willing to change no matter how painful.
Being willing to grow, again no matter how painful, because the results are astronomically wonderful!!!

[CeeMee]

Hi Faith,

Welcome and thanks for that interesting question.  From my experience, what nurtures my self confidence (if that is what you mean by believing in yourself) is facing my fears.  Even when I fail, if I try facing it again, when I finally succeed, it is empowering. With every accomplishment whether that be overcoming a bad habit or succeeding on a project for work, I have a stronger sense of myself.  What I have found though is that this is not a permanent state of mind.  A set back can easily knock my confidence down and I have to nurture myself to build it back up again.  Maybe some will disagree that this is real confidence but it is my experience.  I haven't found anything to be permanent in life (except change as they say).   

CeeMee

[Chicken]

Hi Faith, I echo what Sallying Forth has said... word for word
First step is awareness in all interactions.
Then start to question your responses and start to find what is not working for you, or what is getting in the way. 
Counselling works wonders for me. 
Pay attention to pain, what is it trying to tell you?
Start spending a little time by yourself, getting to know yourself like you would a new person
I like to write to myself, ask myself questions and then I reply to them too, sounds kinda crazy, but it really does help to find the wise you, the real you, the you that has all the answers to your questions and concerns.  You feel brill after, like you've been energised! 

[Brigid]

Welcome Faith,
I would also agree with what both Sally and Selkie have said.  What really helped me, was to find that place where I could get centered, be quiet and listen to myself.  For me, that happens to be near water (preferably the ocean, but that is not easily accessible for me), but it could be in a bubble bath, in a room with certain music, or on a mountaintop for others.  Detach from everything but yourself and have that dialog with your inner self.  That combined with good therapy and exploring new experiences were the biggest boosts to my healing the injuries and learning to love and believe in myself.

Many blessings,

Brigid

[mum]

welcome, Faith. I would absolutely echo EVERYTHING that the above posters have. 
I think you are already way on your way, by identifying that core beliefs really drive our behavoirs and choices.
Change that first......or recognize that first, and the rest follows..you are on your way. Congratulations.

I would emphasize that one thing I needed to do, was also change my core belief about not only myself, but my relationship with the universe/the devine/love. When I believed that there was a judgemental god, I also judged everything...especially pain, as "bad". Now I realize it isn't bad or good all the time....that in fact, the universe is LOVE and is conspiring not against this, but FOR good things. Realizing that I had the power to change this one belief of mine and thus change how I USED energy to attract or deflect what I wanted for my life was pretty key for me. When "bad" things happen, I can step outside of that and look at what it is I am attached to that causes so much pain...and what the pain is telling me. It's all lessons given in unconditional love, I believe. Find the lesson in it, find the love in it, and moving through things has purpose.

But then it comes back to: how I feel about myself. IF I deserve this unconditional love that god/the universe has for me or not.  So yeah......you are on the right track here.

[Faith101]

Thank you for all your input.  Much appreciated!!!

Faith