How do I start to recover????

[buffalogirl]

Hi everyone,
I am just new to this board and very relieved to find it!!!
I am ending a 3.5 year relationship with an N.  It was filled with emotional and verbal abuse, hig additicion to gambling, laying, control, and manipulation of all aspects of my life, including work, financial, family and social.  It has had a very major impact on my health (ovarian cancer, which I am sure is somehow related to the abuse and supression of emotions), finanical resources and social supports.  Sounds very familiar eh!! 

After many, many breakups, I am determined this time to finally move on.  My problem is that determination is not enough.

Please help me try to cope and not return to the abuse and pain.

[mudpuppy]

Hi buffalogirl,

You will get a lot more answers to your post if you put it on the regular message board above this one.

mud

[seasons]

Hi Buffologirl,

Welcome, I'm glad your reaching out for help. I didn't want to ignore/or wait till I could respond with thought, which I will.
Can I ask why you feel your determination is not enough? Will you loose that power in yourself overtime? Does he stalk you? Does he manipulate you into going back.  I guess I would need more history of why you went back, how are you feeling about yourself and making change in your life.  I know it's different for everyone and for every situation.

I'm here to listen, encourage and help in anyway I can.

((((seasons)))) Sending you strength and safety

[Hopalong]

Welcome, Buffalogirl...(ditto Mud, move over to the main boad so more folks will spot you):

I am so sorry for all you've been through. You sound very clear and not fooling yourself about anything.
I know ovarian cancer is exhausting too. I hope you are in remission and have good medical care.

What can you do, just one small step, to move in the direction you are determined to go?

Hopalong

[blue]

It is hard to break  from an N relationship
I believe because you have put so much time and energy into it. Always thinking it would get better and it does not
Have firends to talk with and do things with. Get out and work or volunteer with others who need your help
If you can work at a shelter and spend time with others. Anything  but keep away from the phone and emailing. DO not stay IN touch.with your N. He will draw you back in again and again
Co -dependence makes it much worse. You Will feel you cannot survive without this person in your life. Truth is he will keep drawing life FROM you and give nothing in return
Writting helps and you can post on this broad at any time
Hang in there
blue

[moonlight52]

Welcome Buffalogirl ,I agree with Blue .It is not easy But break it off.I have first in my mind spirit and then in my heart without hard feelings.I just do not see the point of standing and letting  yourself be hurt.Please find that safety and peace within your heart and I do hope all your medical problems are over soon.
Love and Light
Moonlight

[Hopalong]

I couldn't find the Report to Moderator button to tell Richard about the previous SPAM post.
Anybody know what happened?

Hops