Hiya P:
You have such a great brain!!
Why is big brother trying to get baby girl to do what mommy wants?
That’s my question. This is new and odd. Not happened before. Interesting.
Next question: What if baby girl won't dooooooo what big brother and mommy want?
It hasn’t happened before. No-one has ever intervened like this before....except....step-dad This is why it really threw me.
So does it feel the same but different now? The same or similar or is this sending signals making you want to scream:
"This is like step-dad.....like what step-dad would do......like what happened when step-dad....!!!!!!!"
Different because of time and place and it being a different person...not step-dad? Projection or red flag?
This is tricky stuff eh? Thinking is good, I think ("It's fun to have fun!!", said the Cat in the Hat).
I caught myself giving unasked-for advice recently and actually felt bad about it for a whole day. Even though it was darn good advice. Funnily enough the recipient listened and decided to act - not what I suggested he do, but an action to avert the possible bad consequences of his decision. So I felt better. And useful. And he didn’t hate me! Tick.
You're very good at beating yourself up needlessly for stuff that hasn't done any harm whatsoever eh?
Glad you decided you are useful and feel better about it all.
What kind of person hates someone for giving them unwanted advice??
How many times in your life have you been given unwanted advice and did you hate the person who gavie it?
When that happened to me I felt like asking the person to refrain but I also believed they were trying to help.
But......would you or I do that? Are we honest enough to say: "Hey! Thanks but no thanks!". Or is it just common courtesy to listen and thank them politely and then choose what to do? Neither thing will cause death, I bet. Or hate (not in healthy people).
Intention does mean something, doesn't it? It does count? Didn't you intend to try to help? Do you see giving advice as controlling? Do they havvvvvvvvve to follow the advice?
You're not bad P. Not a bad girl at all.

Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I see all this when everyone else can?
How many times do I ask myself this? It's helping me to see you write it.....this is what passed through your head right? Me too. Passes through mine all the time. And it's work to fight these kinds of thoughts off eh? Glad you let yourself "off those hooks".
Truth is. Neither you nor I are stupid. So why do we think stuff like this sometimes? For me.....I feeeeeeeeeel stupid......it's a real feeling or feelings that arise with these thoughts (

Imagine the kindergarten teacher trying to explain that one to the class? "Now class.....we all have many feelings. Happy, sad, angry, stupid..... Little Johnny: "What's feeling stupid like?" Teacher: "It's icky".

Emotions take over and interfere in thinking and then thoughts take over and interfere in emotions. That's my take on it. It's not stupidity.....not a lack of brain cell power......it's an actual over riding of thinking with feeling and then one kind of thought persists generating certain persistent feelings....like a switch in train tracks or something...redirecting thought and feeling (there's probably a much better example than that but I can't think of it!!). Hey! Maybe I ammm stupid!!! That would explain a few things. No. No. That's not right either.

I just believe I'm stupid....because I'm not perfect and then, usually, I end up challenging that belief/the thoughts that lead me there and I soothe myself. Thanks P. I'm not the only one maybe?
If I enjoy being here, if I learn from being here, if I learn from thinking, if I learn from analysing – if I remain curious and talkative and vulnerable and honest isn’t that okay?
Sounds good to me. Ok......think of the opposite. What if:
You didn't come here and post. You didn't learn a thing from being here. Didn't learn from thinking. Didn't analyse anything (just went around bumping into one experience after another....in some robotic state). What if you stopped being curious and didn't talk and kept yourself very safe by never being vunerable, never opening yourself up, or leaving yourself open? What if you weren't honest?
Would you like yourself or any of that better? Ok.....so I know how to think in black and white too. Too well.
But I bet you'll get my drift. Even leaning more toward that way would be less healthy.....less enriching....less okay. IMO.
How about these statements:
“All this thinking about the past, it’s not doing you any good. You’ll just upset yourself more.”
“I’m worried that you’re becoming addicted to that board/the internet.”
“Some things are best left alone/unanswered/buried.”
“She / he is an old person now. There’s no point in upsetting them.”
“Wouldn’t you like to be doing something productive instead of wasting your time…?”
If there is any truth to these statements, can you handle it? Will you consider making changes to correct whatever you believe is not best for you/others?
If these statements are all a honking bag of hogwash, will you discard them? Ignor them? Foget them and decide not to let them upset you any more?
and this absolutely real one from a qualified nurse at a doctor’s surgery:
“So no more therapy for you! Go out and play tennis instead.”
Qualified? Doubtful. Not quality either. Did you take this to heart? So sorry if that happened. It's not up to such people to make such decisions, is it? Was she just abusing her position of power?
Sounds like something a nanny might say to a child:
"No more candy for you young lady! Off you go to the play ground!"
Ooooo. Gives me a yucky feeling. "Good night noisse!!!" (Archie Bunker).
Goofy nurse. Needs retraining. Maybe that wouldn't help. Needs a spanking (

). Oh no, not really. Wouldn't help either. Needs a brain transplant. That might work!

Sela