Moonchild
This, I think, is the toughest thing of all. Not getting sucked in. Just when you think you have seperated, they do something so jaw-droppingly selfish and awful, that it's soooo hard not to respond.
I am dealing with that now. I told my lawyer to stop fighting for me with my ex. Give him what he wants, I'm done. So while we are working on this settlement, he decides to renig on an agreement we had to share the cost of a jazz trip my son is taking to Europe next summer. His "new" idea is to "match" what my son saves (my son does not have a job except for an occassional low paying music gig, but he is so busy playing music that he can't possibly have time for a job) up to 1/4 of the amount of the trip. The rest he gets from me!
Where does this idiot think a non working 17 year old is getting money at all....even if he gives up gas money, taking his girlfriend out, lunches at school.....he doesn't have income, really!!
So basically, the ex only pays for a 1/4 of the trip, if that! Key to know: he makes 4 times what I make and we all know (but can't prove) he is hiding money in a foreign country where he recently became a citizen.
It would be soooo easy to rake this cheapskate over the coals, but why? He isn't going to change. His version of reality is so warped that all responding does is get me sucked back in! As a matter of fact, he LOVES the interchange. LOVES it. Makes him feel like even though he has a new wife, I am still available, emotionally.
This IS how they get us sucked in. They are soooo screwed up, and we get attached to WHAT? Them NOT being screwed up? Them NOT messing with our loved ones? (that seems to be a favorite N game).
Soooo here I go again. Bitch and moan to my friends here (please do that Moonchild....I have found it soo helpful).
Breathe it in, send the pain back to where it belongs. Focus on the good stuff, which is a plenty.
and for you, I guess that would mean, you don't share children with this jerk.
