Psychology and clutter

[write]

after yesterdays discussion of clutter, depression and paralysis I did a wee bit of decluttering today- cleared off my computer desktop and desk for a start.
No wander I can't work in here any more!

That thought got me thinking- did I sub consciously let things get this messy because of my resistance to working ( finishing things is a particular problem )

Did anyone see that BBC programme 'Life Laundry' where a psychologist goes into people's homes and helps them get rid of all the stuff they don't need?
Some of the people were truly liberated by giving away/ selling/ dumping their 'baggage'- emotional along with the objects themselves.

I'm not very materialistic so I don't have a problem getting rid of stuff- but papers, books, print-outs...now I'm working out the psychology of why I keep so much paper trail!

[Hopalong]

Hey Write,
Now I'm weaving my thread onto yours...hi!

You're spot on, imho.

I fear the paperwork that I've allowed to pile up because it's all linked in some way to making money decisions, which triggers a lot of fear for me. I do know that avoiding it compounds it.

It's not clutter for me in terms of things...it's paper clutter.

There is a freelance job that will involve more of my time off and I'm very torn because I crave time to relax more than money but I need the money but I COULD take the assignment but I hate the topic but my daughter needs help but I need to be looking for my next job and that would take time away but it would also give me a safety cushion but I don't know if I can do it all but if I were more disciplined I could do the freelance assignment at the same time but that leaves me exhuasted and then my back hurts worse but if I don't find a new job with health insurance my back will REALLY hurt and I won't be able to afford care for it and why am I not a disciplined charger and deeper down I don't want the freelance gig because I loathe writing about topics I hate just for money and I am never going to get to do my novel after all because of this constant obsession with security..

(So I really hate organizing my papers because each doggone piece involves a DECISION like that.)

Lordy, lordy. Embarrassing but true. I do not finish stuff well, and half the problem is because I don't start it well either.

Thanks for this post.

Hopalong

[write]

There is a freelance job that will involve more of my time off and I'm very torn because I crave time to relax more than money but I need the money but I COULD take the assignment but I hate the topic but my daughter needs help but I need to be looking for my next job and that would take time away but it would also give me a safety cushion but I don't know if I can do it all but if I were more disciplined I could do the freelance assignment at the same time but that leaves me exhuasted and then my back hurts worse but if I don't find a new job with health insurance my back will REALLY hurt and I won't be able to afford care for it and why am I not a disciplined charger and deeper down I don't want the freelance gig because I loathe writing about topics I hate just for money and I am never going to get to do my novel after all because of this constant obsession with security..

=

There is a freelance job I could take

I'm very torn

I crave time to relax more than money but I need the money

I hate the topic

my daughter needs help

I need to be looking for my next job

I don't know if I can do it all but if I were more disciplined I could do the freelance assignment at the same time

that leaves me exhuasted

my back hurts

find a new job with health insurance

I don't want the freelance gig because I loathe writing about topics I hate just for money and I am never going to get to do my novel after all because of this constant obsession with security.

So breaking it down the demands on you as a financial provider and carer are wearing you out and conflicting with wanting to be more openly creative in your work.

[Hopalong]

Exactly. Thanks for seeing so clearly, Write.
If I'd stop hyperventilating and use the"Enter" key now and then maybe I could have decluttered that thoughtstream too... 

Ain't no out at the moment, but with time I know all things change.

 
Hops

[write]

it will become clearer with time.

Look how far we've come!