Write -
Thank you so, so much for the websites. They were extremely helpful! It's touching that you would think about my situation and do that.
Additionally,
I'm aware that I was having some feelings of defensiveness about your assessment of my support circle and was wanting to run. I have seen people in the beginning stages of this recovery post in defense of their unhealthy behavior(IMO) or that of their unhealthy partners/friends and I did not want to appear that way. I wanted to take some time and consider your words.
It is true that some are not supportive. I want to explain that this is a HUGE community and some of these people don't know me and could easily see a non-person as a big, bad witch. I have come to some peace that if these people choose to believe that w/out knowing me, it's their loss. The community is big enought that I do not have to associate w/ them.
The other part is the people that do know me, to an extent. A lot of them have husbands/partners who are closer to my stbxh than the wives are to me. The fact is that if I choose to do "work", I choose who I want to be in my circle. Within this large community there are a lot of people who do not understand about sex and love addiction which he is strongly acting out in (I don't think they understand battering either). THey do, however, understand doing deep experiential, family of origin work and can be present for me for that.
In addition, there is an aspect to the community where they are focused on people growing together as couples and not bailing out at the first sign of conflict...dealing w/ conflict head on and facing fears. I can see this working w/ someone who is healthier, but not psycho!
I intend on bringing issues of abuse up to the community as I feel they have not been adequately addressed in couple's work. (Heck, even the 5 counselors that we saw didn't address it!) THe community is about taking ACTION...being the change we want to see in the world.
Movinon