Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?
Which of your basic beliefs help you strive and survive in the world?
Sheela:
Thanks, Moonlight,
Thank you for the welcome.
I appreciate how "uneasy" it has been for you as I have had to watch my children go though so much pain.
It is clear of late that my eldest is also NPD and I feel a little overwhelmed about it and sad.
It feels difficult to have had my kind of past because it doesn't bear telling in most arenas and in my case some of it is too difficult to believe.
And yet, wasn't, isn't talking always the best cure?
Due to my NPD child's behavior of late, it is almost as if the Great Wheel of Karma stopped by to say:
Sorry, we're not quite finished . . .
which of course we never are.
BJ:
This is a great question that deserves good thought. Before thinking seriously and writing about core beliefs and survival techniques, I would like to comment on something that stuck to me on Sheela's post.
--- Quote ---Due to my NPD child's behavior of late, it is almost as if the Great Wheel of Karma stopped by to say:
Sorry, we're not quite finished . . .
which of course we never are.
--- End quote ---
K
BJ:
Sorry for the above error in posting. Here it is in full.
This is a great question that deserves good thought. Before thinking seriously and writing about core beliefs and survival techniques, I would like to comment on something that stuck to me on Sheela's post.
--- Quote ---Due to my NPD child's behavior of late, it is almost as if the Great Wheel of Karma stopped by to say:
Sorry, we're not quite finished . . .
which of course we never are.
--- End quote ---
I've been thinking about "unfinished" and "karma", and children, visited here. It's true, each individual should never be finished seeing, reflecting, growing, and changing. But when it comes to us and our children--well, I continually find myself being accountable to myself and my children, just being a parent. Given my history, this is a good thing. To me, this is living and loving them with intention and attention, for all our needs. Now, I don't always do it right, but, if I can closely pay attention and give attention, then I have a better chance knowing what needs adjusting.
What about "passing-down" of genetics and breaking the chain of destruction? How does this relate to being "unfinished"? Yes, I often find myself reflecting on how parenting has a way of opening my personal life character challenges and how to do it better. But karma?...that adds a different dimension. And...the unfinished business now begins anew in our children's world. This adds to our unfinished stuff and now they have some all-their-own. Will they even have the capability or open-mindedness, interest, desire, or will to choose to see themselves? And what about their children...and their children? Unfinished also takes on a different meaning...now in the next generation. Do we have better "karma" if we each genuinely reflect and work on ourselves? I don't know if it's about karma?
To me, this somehow implies, hmmm let's say, punishment. Why, if we are working to be the best of what we are capable, why would our children suffer, maybe because of us? Isn't it more about conscious living, biology, nurture/nature, cycles etc. Ya, it hurts to feel myself suffer as my children are growing because I need to be smarter, with every NOW, in order for them to thrive.
I'm not sure I have accurately expressed what I really wanted to say here. Maybe this thought will help.
When the tsunami hit and killed 227,000+ people, I heard a man speak. He was a native of the island and the sole survivor in his family. He asked about his "bad karma" and what he might have done, or not done, every day---to be alive while the rest of his loved-ones perished. To him, his karma has caused him a future of the greatest suffering. It's interesting, would good karma have kept them alive and maybe have taken him? I'm not sure about karma...I guess I'm more pragmatic?
BJ
Sela:
Hi all:
Very interesting stuff here. Thankyou for posting.
Another way some might look at it as fate. Is it my/your/anyone's fate to be destined to strive/survive.......no matter what calamity/stress/or test is givien? Or is failure certain? Is everything/anything predetermined?
I truly do not worry about stuff like this. Maybe, because I think I'll drive myself batty trying to figger it out and deep down inside I'm sure......I don't know and won't know until whatever is going to happen....happens.
So, ya.....if a person believes in karma or fate being the determinating factor in life.....I can see how that might really hinder or make survival difficult, in some cases (I guess I'm thinking along the lines of when a person is sure their karma is poor/bad/not good).
Beliefs can make such a huge difference on our attitude/out look eh?
And they're not easy to change, sometimes, either are they?
Sela
Hopalong:
Ya know, as much as I moan about having an NMom, she never hit me.
And I think it was probably easier in many ways than having an NDad.
Because the power thing is usually doubled with a male.
I know how destructive Nwomen can be, I do...but I am just also so very sorry for anyone who had an Nfather...much less a violent one.
:(
Hops
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