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Re-evaluating relationships after the N

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backagain:
Hi, it has been a long time. Just revisiting some old posts. I find it helpful to look back sometimes.

I ended up marrying the man I described in this post.  It has been over a decade.  Neither of us is perfect. But we are happy.  We love and support each other.  He is the most generous person I have ever met.  He inspires me to be a more caring and creative person.  For those of you exiting bad relationships, there is hope that you can have a healthy (but not perfect!) future relationship in which you are loved and respected.  I had to do some work on myself to recover from my toxic relationship and learn how to accept being loved, accepted, and supported for who I am.  In some ways it is still a work in progress, but it is worth it. 

I look back on my old life and am shocked at how I thought I could ever accept living in such a cold and unloving relationship.  I really believe that exiting that relationship saved my life and sanity.  I am so grateful.

Sending you all love and light. 

Pandora

lighter:
Out the other side, standing in the light, ((Pandora.))

Your story is hopeful and I feel I'm in it when reading your posts.

Than you for sharing your story and returning with this update🌷

Lighter

Hopalong:
Hi Back,
Happy to hear from you. When posters reappear with followup, it is so meaningful, imo. Adds much richness to all the dialogues over the years.

I looked back at what I wrote to you in March of 2006, I was sad to face that unlike you, I did not learn the lesson I needed to fast enough. Now, at nearly-73, I finally get it. But I fear I'll be too late to have a second chance at mature love.

All the more heartfelt congratulations to you on seeing your old mate for who he was (such a handsome, charismatic N) -- and then having the courage to risk love again with a man of character. You're so much happier than would ever have been possible with Mr. Handsome in Love With Himself.

Responsibility, kindness, honesty and a cooperative nature and such are IT. They are all there is! I'm so glad to hear you found your way out of the Nswamp and are now sailing into a much better future with your true crew. MUCH respect and many bravos!

(I also latched onto Brigid's wonderful phrase about her good new relationship: "relaxed comfort." I realize that this is EXACTLY what I want to be drawn to. Begone sparkly handsome charismatic self-impressed men! I want a comfy-slippers man.)

Hope you'll be back again.

hugs
Hops

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