Welcome Deenpac,
I'm so glad for you that you found and reached out to this community. You will find support and comfort here...and a place to come together when you're feeling alone. As a somewhat infrequent poster, your following quote drove me to comment.
He is holding the fact that we own a business our only real source of income over my head (says that if I get a lawyer he can just quit the business and I will be left with nothing)
If the business is the only source of income for both of you, HE will no longer be left with an income if he quits! You, on the other hand, will still have the business! Now, I think it's funny that he didn't offer to run the business,
or buy you out, or ask you to buy him out! To me, this implies:
1. he is acting on your insecurities and is bullying you
2. he has not thought it through or, has he prepared another source of income for himself, or does he expect that he can leave you and remain in business with you?
3. he's bargaining on the fact that you are physically and emotionally weak...therefore, he thinks you will be intimidated and cave in...YOU WON'T and don't need to.
All you need is to believe in what you have been doing in the business all along...with and/or without him. If you find it difficult to professionally proceed at this immediate time, get
good help from people who can perform whatever is necessary. Pay a professional to handle what you can't, but keep a close watch. That's all. Yes. that's all! It is really that simple. The money you pay to have good help will be far less than the expense you would incur if you need it and don't do it. Cheap help is usually just that. Anyway, it would probably just be to get you over the hump, or maybe you'll find business has been good and you can afford it, along with your involvement.
Now, I don't want to sound like I'm over-simplifying things, but from my perspective( not emotionally involved)...Take it slow, take a step back, and realize the simple facts will get you through. Good luck in whatever you decide about the financial and business piece. As for the relationship, heartbreak, marriage and the rest of it...I'll reserve comment to someone more proficient in that area.My best to you and your family. Remember, if you reach out, you are not alone. Best,
BJ