Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Does anyones NP Parent accuse them of having disorders?

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Tamara J:
My mother has done a really good job of turning her own brothers, mother, and her friends against her children. Or at least getting these people to believe her crap. I haven't spoken to her family in a long time and it's not for a lack of trying. They have "family reunions" every two years up in her hometown, I've been invited, but never go. I don't feel like playing "family" with people who don't really care about me anyways. Amazing because I can run into other family members from my father's side at a funeral for instance, people I haven't seen in 15 years, and they're happy as hell to see me. Not her family though. I could be standing next to my Nmother's mother, on fire, and I don't think the broad would notice. Starts to explain alot. My mother is very good at telling me that I "need help" whenever I want to work on past issues with her. She would much rather prefer me to "forgive and put it in the past". Until next time that is......

Steph:
In my experience with my m-i-l everything is my fault. I can't even talk about all the bs she has put us thru because she has convinced everyone that I am out to get her and they immediatley shut me out if I mention anything. She is notorious for hanging up on my dh as soon as her faults are pointed out. Once she conveniently forgets about "this thing" or "that time" it just did not happen. That's the end of it. Never happened.
She begins every argument, says what she has to say and then says "This conversation is over."

The infuriating thing is that she seems to honestly believe it really is "me" or "him" or anybody but her with the problem. Once several co-workers of hers got together and left an anonymous note on her desk telling her about her hurtful, self-centered, intolerable behavior and even then she just said they must be jealous because she is the least self-centered person she knows!

MissT:
Thanks for all the advice folks, and Seeker ive actually printed your post off and stuck it on my pinboard next to the phone...for when she next rings!!!!!!!

The next phone call with my Nmum will be interesting, since our last call (06/01/04) iIhave discovered this condition, read and read and read, been through a little shock, done some soul searching, joined this forum, talked to others of same experiances, got fantastic advice and started to feel lighter then i have ever done in years!!!!!!

Im armed and ready!

ill keep you posted!

HUGS

MissT

simone:
I severed ties with my N-Mom 14 months ago.  Accordingly, as I began sealing off  her access to my life, she became frenzied.  
 
Her efforts to humiliate, discredit and force me back into some level of dependency upon her have been tireless, and always begin with some accusation that I have addictions to....God only knows what she thinks I'm addicted to!

I was recently told by a family friend (who I hadn’t seen since getting away from Nmom) that last year N-mom held a 2 day “retreat” where she hired a consultant to counsel her on how to deal with my “drug addiction” This invented addiction apparently forced me to embezzle hundreds of thousands of dollars from her business, including burglarizing her office.  Yeah, right.  But this is what she told family, friends, etc.

She is a raging alcoholic and pill popper.  I'm brand new here, and found this page looking for help on how to find a way to visit my grandmother...since gram has been told all of the above crap.  Your situation has helped.

Good Luck!

Anastasia:
I kinda half-laughed at this post when I read it.  I was remembering when my f'd up Nmother gave me a book called, "Accepting Yourself" or somesuch like I was the problem.
I remember when she indirectly suggested I was gay because I wasn't yet married at 27:  I am not, and only recently told her I didn't know how to respond to that one as, at that time, I was screwing anything I found attractive north of the Mason-Dixon line.  (It took me ages to grow up and become mature...but I did have some fun at one time.)
Crazy Nmother has recently accused me of being bitter, unloving, blah, blah, blah.  I just totally am able to tune her out now as she is so assinine.  I ain't buying it anymore, old lady, like I did when I was a young, beatendown kid.
Don't you KNOW you are supposed to be the whipping boy for these Narcissists yet?  You are to be one big step lower than mighty them.
Don't listen to this drivel vomited out by this toxic woman.  She is the one that has problems....remember that.  And get away from her as much as you can--she really is toxic.

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