Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: basic description

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Hopalong:
Yikes, LoH! I'm so sorry I didn't extend myself to say so! I was being lazy.

I am DELIGHTED you are here, and warm welcome.

I have been really happy every single time I read one of your smart, wonderfully articulated posts.

Please stay,

Hopalong

blue:
I just wanted to add that I have felt great sorrow at my family and their pain and all the pain they have caused me and others
(I have an N mother,father,brother,grandmother and b/f )
I to feel sadness and yes pity
I wonder sometimes why i have had all this in my life
i truly believe it has taught me compassion **yes at a distance*
To me they really are children
When i think of the damage my mother has done *she is the worst off all of them**
it is shocking But at the same time she seems to be a little child. watching Mr Rodgers and living in her dream world
Talking to her is futile and i gave up many many years ago
Its sad and sometimes i cry not for me but for them
blue

Hopalong:
I'm sorry, Blue, your life got stuck on one letter of the alphabet...

I was surprised to read "bf"...are you staying with an Nbf by choice?

Tell us more if you feel like talking about it...

Hopalong

reallyME:
blue,

I was reading over the posts today and something you said caught my eye "watching Mr Rogers"...Jodi was very into Spongebob and even preached a message online on the Wizard of Oz, wherein she characterized all her "friends" as the characters who "tried to stop Dorothy (Jodi herself) from pursuing her destiny.  She painted herself as the hero, who had a weak nature and was easily swayed by others, yet had a goal to achieve.  It was weird.  We all could tell it was problems she had with all of us, that she was teaching about, but not using our exact names.  When we questioned her motive, she responded with "no nooooooooo I'd NEVER do that!  i'm DOROTHY, I'M DOROTHY...don't you understand??? I'm Dorothy!"  Then, when she decided that my friend Dove was not fitting her image of the perfect "ministry" she told her, "Well, I have the scarecrow and the tinman, but I'm NOT coming back for the cowardly lion, so you better make real sure this is your final decision not to join me and the others."

Thanks for listening and for sharing,

RM
Laura

lightofheart as guest:
Hi again Hopalong,

Thanks for your warm words & welcome; I do feel very welcome here, kind folks like you go a long way towards that. I appreciate it.

Looking back over this thread, I finally processed something about Ns (by N, I mean folks who may or may not have NPD but who, imho, consistently meet most of the critieria) and the way they communicate that I hope to recognize as a possible N. red flag in the future. Big thanks and pats on the back to everyone who's posted/shared here; your insights really pushed me along! I'm embarrassed at how simple this one is...but, then again, if I thought I should only voice smart things I'd sure be quiet a lot.

So, red flag for me=Inability to participate in two-way communication for any sustained length of time, aka one-way or 'blind' communicators. An open communicator listens carefully, asks follow-up questions, processes incoming info., reflects back, listens actively, etc. I think some Ns, and lots of Ns who have to public-speak/run meetings at work, can pass themselves off as two-way, open communicators, but, especially interpersonally, tend to wait for their turn to speak rather than take much in from the other person. Disclosers vs. receivers.

Does this make any sense/sound familiar?
Very curious about other opinions.

 :D
Thanks!
Best,
LoH

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