teenagers

[mum]

I thought we could all use some humor, here, and since I share my life with teenagers, and since they exasperate me no end sometimes, and since the best way I have found to difuse the dramatic energy they seem to leave in their trail around here is to share with other parents who can RELATE and then LAUGH at the absurdity....well, thus this thread.

I will also admit, it is particularly about teenage girls, because in my own experience, my son will just go in his room and shut the door when he is off kilter, sparing us his feelings until he has an announcement to make about them and/or has already come to a decision....but my daughter (who, as you know is going through a lot right now, anyway) will pick on the most minute things to bitch about:
"must you do that?" "why are you looking at me?" "Do you have to stand near me?' "You're so annoying".....and then, "can you do this or that for me, I love you so much, etc...."

AAAAAGGGGHHHH. If I were invisible she would tell me to show up, if I were quiet, she would question why and if I spoke up, she would tell me I talk to much!!!  OH< and when I laugh a little (because it is so crazy making), God help me!!

If you have read anything about teenage girls, you know this is how they stay connected....by being argumentative. It gets them two things they need: a demonstration of their autonomy, and the reassurance that they still have an effect, in particular on their mothers.  The best book I have read on this (and teenagers in general) is Wolf's "Get out of My LIFE, but first will you drive me and Cheryl to the Mall".  That kind of sums it up.

Anywho.....I thought some of you might have some good teenager stories to share...I promise I won't call your kid a brat if you don't call mine the same (and I should add, my kids are AWESOME, very respectable, etc.....but NORMAL!!!!UUUGGGG)

I'll start. When putting my hand on the back of the passenger seat, in order to back out of the driveway, she says: "Why did you touch me? Did you have to touch me?"

[moonlight52]

MUM    I am in heaven .You have expressed teenage girls to a tee .But really I thought that I was the only" annoying"
Mom around.I did go on strike this week one more trip to the mall with a car full of 13 year olds and I was going to lose it.
Then when my teenager comes up to me with a new drawing she's done looking for approval my heart melts.............
Thats when I know I'll be driving to the mall the next day .
Moon

[write]

my s-i-l told me yesterday she is a bit jealous of the lovely correspondence I have with her daughter!

She said, how do you have time to answer all her emails ( she's in England )

Ans: 'I make time'....

Kids are the future, it's great to be involved.

*

've found it hard with my best friend the way her teenagers are with me sometimes, so loving then so rude...yet suddenly I get it: it's the luck I've had that they have accepted me and connected to me and are going to take me for granted and abuse me like my own kid!

One of the boys ( 14 ) said 'here you are mommy 2' with something tonight, I was so pathetically grateful...

*
my boy's at a sleepover; he didn't kiss me when I went over to check arrangements and say goodnight; I teased him about it. But it's one step closer to that world cruise when he's all beautifully responsible and able to take care of himself.

I guess everything is how you see it on some level...but more so with children.

Mum:
never laugh or show humour or enjoyment at any time! You know that! Jeez....

( slams door...
sound of muffled Greenday... )

[Brigid]

mum,

I think shopping is the biggest frustration I have with my almost 18-year-old D.  It's not so bad now, as she mostly shops with her own friends, but we did recently have to shop for a prom dress, and by the end of the experience (spanned 2 weeks), I was biting through 2x4's not to start screaming.  She could only find a few dresses that she was even willing to try on.  When we had it narrowed down to 2 dresses--which of course, were in two different stores, in two different cities, 90 miles apart--then it was standing in front of the 3-way mirror hemming and hawing for no less than 45 minutes.  I was so afraid to give much of an opinion for fear of being blamed if it turned out to be the wrong decision.  You would think she was trying to decide if someone was getting the death penalty.

Ultimately, she decided on the dress I really liked the best, she looked gorgeous, and no one else had the same dress, so it all worked out great.  I can't wait for the wedding dress (hopefully it will happen one day) shopping experience.  I will need a lot of drinks to get through that. 

Brigid

[petra]

This is a funny thread.
My youngest daughter is 13 and alternates between a cuddly, sweet, happy go lucky little girl, to a hormonal, angst riddled ball of tension who tends to project it all on the nearest target (me). Last week, she had organized a trip to the mall with her friends and i agreed to drive them all there. "Fine", she said, " that's OK if you drive us all. But please don't try talk to them like you usually do because it just embarrasses everyone". 

[mudpuppy]

mum,

You said something the other day which I found very wise and comforting. That was that their true personality is expressed around others and outside the home not the way they act around us. Whew! That took a load off of my mind.
Everyone who knows our daughter thinks she just the sweetest kid in the world.
I often wish I could bounce something small and hard off of her noggin.
I guess they're all pretty similar in how they begin to seperate from us but man alive its aggravating. I'm certain I was a perfect angel and never said to my parents anything like she does to me.

mud

PS. The "don't touch me, did you have to touch me thing" is perfect. I can't tell you how many times i've heard that in the last year.

[movinon]

Okay -

No throwing anything at me here, but my teenage D doesn't really do any of this.  She never really vocalized some of the stuff I see here.

At 14, she DID say a lot of things about her wonderful-perfect step-mom and pretty much reject any of my beliefs.  I thought it was mostly b/c I chose a psychopath over her and forced her to live w/ us.  Well, now that she's 18, I'm almost the best thing since sliced bread again - or it could be attributable to all of the work I've done and the fact that I acknowledge her feelings and beliefs (?)

my 2 cents

Movinon

[mum]

I think there is a world of difference between a 13 year old and an 18 year old.....at least that's what I am holding out for!!!

[petra]

Mum,
I think you are absolutely right. My 18 year old also went through a crappy period at around 13 and has come out the other end a wonderful caring person. I think the role that mothers fulfill if we do our job right is to provide a safe forum where our daughters can develop their own authentic voices (i think that this is more difficult for girls than boys). Of course they will overdo it sometimes but that is where loving boundaries come in.

At the other end of the spectrum, i could never have disagreed with my mother without being bombarded with spite and venom. Consequently, i have spent my whole life finding it very difficult to disagree with people or say no, or, on the other hand, putting up with so much crap that i just explode

[penelope]

I'm enjoying reading the posts about daugthers and sons and Moms.  Makes me giggle.  Thanks mum, you're adorable too ya know 

Here's a guy who really understands what it's like to be a kid.  Has anyone listened to Bill Harley's music?  He's wonderful - caring, hilarious, sensitive to kids.  And kids and adults both love him:

http://www.billharley.com/

penelope

[pennyplant]

Later on, in her last year of high school, she told me her friends AND their mothers could not believe I was her mother when they met me.  OOOMPH, right in the stomach. 

She's out of colllege now, working, has a wonderful boyfriend and calls home regularly.  Someday, I'm going to ask her what she meant by that.  At the time, I thought it best to just let it go.   

I bet they just thought you look too young to have children that old     !

PP