Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

What about the love?

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rosencrantz:
Hi Warrior Girl - I'm sorry that you too feel that people might be mad at you.  I'm sure they are not.  Someone is lurking on the board rocking people's confidence - it usually means there's an 'N' about causing subtle havoc somewhere.  Yuk!  Just ignore it and it will go away.

Nic - Wow!  Have you come on several lightyears in the past months.  Congratulations.  Wot a post!!! :-)

Warrior Girl - you understand your situation very well - yes, you'll lose  friends and a social situation if you rock the boat - but aren't you worth it?  If you don't rock the boat in order to find better love and more loyal friends and a more secure social base, you'll lose much more in time - your self-esteem, your integrity, maybe even your sanity.  Is it worth it?  Go on out there, cool cookie, live your own life, not his.

Good luck
R

rosencrantz:
PS You're also right about the man in your life - the pain and what you need to do to reach him and enable him to lead a great life.  But a) you'll get destroyed in the process b) he won't let you succeed anyway.

Even the best therapists shrink from taking on true 'N's'.

Right analysis - wrong solution.  ;-)

rosencrantz:
PPS I suppose you could give them all a copy of the same book.

Seriously, I found my way into keeping relationships which my N was trying to scupper by sticking it out and believing in myself - and challenging very carefully and gently but persistently when people tried to dump the blame on me (the 'you're too sensitive' type).  And letting go quickly (it was ultimately more productive) if anyone seemed resistant to the truth.  It may take years. And you may just have to accept differing opinions about where the truth lies - but you can still retain the relationships.  Just don't let your N provoke paranoia in YOU!
R

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