Author Topic: Blue blue blue....  (Read 1654 times)

Healing&Hopeful

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Blue blue blue....
« on: May 26, 2006, 03:06:52 PM »
Hiya all

I'm having a bit of a hit with the blues today (well, this week really), and I'm tired and fed up and I'm feeling particularly lonely tonight.  Hubby has been working nights this week so we've seen each other for a total of 8/10 hours in pretty much the last two weeks... I work 10+ hours a day and tonight I still need to do the washing up, sort out the clothes, tidy the front room, and do some ironing, and hoovering and I'm feeling guilty because I'm sat here instead of getting on with it all.  I'd love to say that it can wait til tomorrow but as Hubby's on nights he'll be sleeping tomorrow, and I need to go into town to get my Goddaughters christening present which is this Sunday, so Sunday & Monday will be going to my home town, and then we've planned to see my family on Monday.

Also I had a chat with my boss and the payrise I thought I'd be looking at isn't going to materialise... I did say to him I just wanted to be paid fair for the work I'm doing, and I did stress how much more responsibility I had taken on, to which he replied that he knew.

Next week Hubby's away so I'll be on my own again and I'm looking at what I've written and think maybe I am getting too dependent on him, I'm expecting more from him than I should... I don't know.

I think I just need a kick up the bottom!

H&H xx
Here's a little hug for u
To make you smilie while ur feeling blue
To make u happy if you're sad
To let u know, life ain't so bad
Now I've given a hug to u
Somehow, I feel better too!
Hugs r better when u share
So pass one on & show u care

seasons

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2006, 03:29:29 PM »
((H&H))

maybe I am getting too dependent on him, I'm expecting more from him than I should... I don't know.

Are you upset with yourself because you feel lonely? Missing your husband sounds natural, considering your schedules, at least to me.
What do you want him to do? What are you expecting? Have you talked to him about this, and how you really feel?

I'm sorry you had such a terrible week.  I wish I had more to offer, but maybe a little more details on why you might feel overly dependent might help. Do you take care of you also? Do things for yourself that would bring you joy and comfort?

(((((wishing you  :D days ahead)))) seasons
"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God."
Maya Angelou

Hopalong

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2006, 03:30:02 PM »
(((((((((((H&H)))))))))))))
So glad you posted that you're exhausted and blue. Whew, who wouldn't be?
Good for you for saying so, you need a kick at all. You're entitled to how you feel.

Quote
I work 10+ hours a day and tonight I still need to do the washing up, sort out the clothes, tidy the front room, and do some ironing, and hoovering


Is it all your job, hon? Doesn't matter who works days or nights, sure sounds as though you're pulling more than your share...and if most statistics are true, most of the time, even the world's sweetest husbands tend to overlook a good portion of women's work in the home and with children. Doesn't make him bad, but it leaves you way more fatigued than you should have to be. Can you talk with him about it? You are so loving every time you speak of him, and he sounds like a good listener...

As to the "need to." Just a thought or two: my D did her own laundry from start to finish from age 10 and I know plenty of kids who've learned it all earlier. Got her separate hampers. (Two, one for "whites and lights", one for "darks and brights.") And never, ever, will I purchase one thing that needs ironing. Kids can run the vacuum, put things away, dust. Most chores can be done by or adapted for kids.

Do you have chore lists on the fridge for each child? Never too late to start.

Another thought: you didn't say this, but for what it's worth: I go cross-eyed when people mention husbands and/or children "helping" the mother. It's the whole family's job to make things go. Talking about it as "helping" the woman means it's all by definition the her responsibility alone... (sooo 50s!)

Sorry you're feeling so worn but it makes perfect sense and is a very uncrazy response to that much overwork and overscheduledness. Hope things get better quickly...hope you'll take time for yourself. Maybe hubby can take all the kids and go camping for a weekend?

hugs, cups a tea, and most of all.......peaceful hours in a clean soft bed to sleeeeep.......

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Healing&Hopeful

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2006, 03:46:49 PM »
Hiya (((((Seasons))))) & ((((((Hoppy)))))

I think I'm more upset with myself for not getting on with chores.  I have spoke with Hubby about how his nightshifts can affect me and my sleeping pattern and how it can affect my work too.  He is aware but it's his job... what can he do?

Normally the chores are equally split, but when he's on nights he's working 12 hours from leaving the house to returning... yesterday was 16 hours.  There's no way I can expect him to pick up any chores after that.... he comes in about 7 - 7.15, I left at 7.30 and he left to go to the office to sort out some paperwork (that's after leaving for work at 7 pm the night before), then he's getting up when I get in about 5.30 pm(5.30 is a on a good day for me) and sits down for an hour before he has to go to work again....

I don't think there's any easy answers. xx
Here's a little hug for u
To make you smilie while ur feeling blue
To make u happy if you're sad
To let u know, life ain't so bad
Now I've given a hug to u
Somehow, I feel better too!
Hugs r better when u share
So pass one on & show u care

seasons

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2006, 03:51:01 PM »
Wow, I can't imagine the pressure on each of you. Also sending wishes of well needed rest
and comfort to you both!........seasons
"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God."
Maya Angelou

WRITE

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2006, 05:16:56 PM »
I think I just need a kick up the bottom!

ok, there you are!

You are so lucky to have such a wonderful husband; not lucky really, you deserve it.
Hope you get to spend more time together soon.

Hopalong

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2006, 07:01:09 PM »
Erm.... :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:  even without the help of the invisible lazy children I just invented for you, dear H&H...(senile, senile, hoppity hop)

It's totally clear that you and dearH are doing the very very best you can.
Maybe it's just time to lower your standards for a while until you get more rest.

You could still give up ironing???

(((((((((hugs, and sending your a team of Tidyup Fairies))))))))))))

Hops

"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Healing&Hopeful

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2006, 07:21:12 PM »
Thanks (((((Write))))  I know I'm lucky... maybe sometimes it can go to the back of my mind behind the choas of everyday life sometimes.

(((((Hoppy))))))

When I was single I only used to iron when I needed something that needed ironing... Hubby usually does the ironing on a Sunday morning so it's only with his work... I do understand that.

He did say today that next weekend he was going to take me out for a meal, his treat... bless him!

H&H xx
Here's a little hug for u
To make you smilie while ur feeling blue
To make u happy if you're sad
To let u know, life ain't so bad
Now I've given a hug to u
Somehow, I feel better too!
Hugs r better when u share
So pass one on & show u care

moonlight52

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2006, 09:57:34 PM »
Hi H&H and Hops   When the tidy up fairies are done at your house can they come to my house?
                          Moon 

WRITE

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2006, 01:02:41 PM »
Ironing- you're right, give that up! There are so many materials now respond to being hung up or tumble dried with little creasing. I haven't ironed anything since the 80s!

ANewSheriff

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Re: Blue blue blue....
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2006, 07:36:19 PM »
H&H:
Quote
I think I just need a kick up the bottom!

Or, maybe a hot cup of tea, a soft pillow, and a magazine...  You sound a little overwhelmed and, yes, blue.  This too shall pass, H&H.  Try not to judge it too much and be too hard on yourself in the meantime.

ANewSheriff
Change the way you see the world and you will change the world.