sick of Vaknin everywhere I look about N'ism

[reallyME]

Good Morning Everyone!

I wanted to get some info about cerebral/somatic Narcissism today, and, would ya believe it??? everywhere I looked, there was that name again...Sam Vaknin!  I guess he sure has HIS supply of narcissistic attention, through everyone looking up what N'ism even IS!  That makes me MAD!  I HATE giving these dysfunctional people ANY attention to FEED INTO their illness! GRRRRRRRRR

However, I did manage to locate a clinical site that has some good, simplified info on it.  I'm sharing it here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

Good ol WIKIPEDIA to the rescue!

I just have to post this part from it though:

A mnemonic that can be used to remember the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder is SPECIAL[2][3]:

S - Special, belief they are
P - Preoccupied with fantasies (of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love)
E - Entitlement feelings
C - Conceited (self-importance)
I - Interpersonal exploitation
A - Arrogant
L - Lacking empathy


Feeling good about having found a NON-VAKNIN WEBSITE ON NPD

~ReallyME

[Hopalong]

Good going, Really!
I was really helped by Vaknin when I first learned of Nism. But after a while I grew tired of reading him because he has so much hatred for Ns (self-hatred, of course). And that's not where I wanted to stay, so I could get to forgiveness.

You're right, it IS nice to drive another URL up an inch on the search engines!

Thanks,
Hops

[btradb2moms]

Really. I found him to be very well informed. In fact, I manage a support group for Parents coping with P/N Children that is connected to his.

http://groups.msn.com/CopingwiththePsychopathNarcissistChild
 
I have a daughter who has serious  Entitlement issues.

Look up the phrase "The World OWES ME!"  Her picture is used as an illustration 

Jeannie

[reallyME]

Jeannie,

I tried to look up "The World Owes Me" but I can't seem to find it.  COuld you please send me the link if possible?

As far as Sam V, I take issue with the guy, because he IS an N and uses his posting about N ism in a way that almost BOASTS of his own N'ism.  I don't see where he has responded to therapy and, frankly it just disturbs me.  I'm thrilled that he has given us insight into his dysfunctional inner world, however, I enjoy reading things that are by non-N's too.

RM

[btradb2moms]

I am not sure if I was being unclear, but "The world owes me" was said sarcastically. My daughter was exposed to my mother's husband and his manipulation and controlling behavior her first few years. She was indoctrinated with his "need to in control" just long enough to be damaged by it. She saw how I jumped when he said "Boo" and for a very long time she used his method with me.

As for Vakin, I find him to be a pompous ass myself but despite it all, He has become the one I listen to as to how to get back MY control with the N's in my life. It is rather galling that he is always showing up when I search for answers, but if not for my reading his articles I would still be tortured by my not being a good enough mother for my child since she hates me so much.

His articles opened my eyes to, although I did have a part by my silence and seemingly compliance with my N stepfather, I never did anything or caused her to be the way she is. 

Her temperament as a leader, coupled with his bad contolling, demeaning example was what set it off. My silence was the only defense I had at the time. Only after learning this, was I able to forgive myself and sleep at night.

He may be an ass, and he may be a bit "out there" but if he helped others like me, I can live with it.

[reallyME]

btrade,

Thanks for explaining...yes I thought you were being literal about your daughter's picture on the site, cause just this morning, there was a thing I read called "The World Owes Me" or something like that...believe it or not!

Her temperament as a leader, coupled with his bad contolling, demeaning example was what set it off. My silence was the only defense I had at the time. Only after learning this, was I able to forgive myself and sleep at night.

I am finding that I have to be careful of this with my spiritual mom, cause I tend to have the n-leader temperament if it's not yielded to God.  I love her dearly and she is very laid-back and sweet and I do all I can to not come off as cocky or strong with her...she is battling some illnesses and it can really hurt her deeply when I do.

Thanks for sharing this info.

Blessya,
Really me, Laura

[Hopalong]

Hi Betrad,
Thank you for sharing this painful knowledge you have about your daughter.
I was struck by this..what you daughter was exposed to, very young:

his manipulation and controlling behavior her first few years. She was indoctrinated with his "need to in control" just long enough to be damaged by it.

Except for gender (it was my daughter's grandmother, not grandfather)--I could say the exact same thing about my daughter. And now she's 25 and I have some fears about her N-ishness. But I'm not ready to call her "An N."

What were the defining things about your daughter that made you feel the full diagnosis fit, if you don't mind sharing? (If it's too painful to talk about, please don't worry.)

thanks,
Hops