Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?

What has helped me - a husband with a wife with NPD

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Rosanna:
I was with an NPD for a long time that I broke away from, and although he is walking down the wedding aisle with another woman (also NPD) in a month, he chose to call me today, while I am six months pregnant with my husband's child, to tell me how much he loves me and wants me and that it will never be over for him.  Of course I was greatly, greatly upset after the call and started to feel poorly physically.  He hurt me so badly while we were together, has never apologized of course for his wrongs, and in fact, spat it all back on me, name-calling, saying I rant and rave, etc., etc.   He has never taken any responsibility for things he did, and now he won't even think of my health.  It's all baout him and it always will be and woe to the woman who is marrying him.  WE MUST ALL LOOK INSIDE OURSELVES TO SEE WHY WE EVER HELD ON TO AN NPD.  Coming up with strategies to keep him/her in your marriage will not work.  The only thing you can do is get help for yourself and hopefully realize it has NOTHING to do with you and get the hell out of there!  I mean that with all of my heart.

Hopalong:
Ai, yi, yi, Roseanna.
How classic. How infuriating.

Please don't let him make you ill.

In the book I mention so often I should shuddup, there's a section called Curtain Calls.
Those are the dramatic last-ditch attempts an N makes when s/he's made some choice
to make a commitment (a way of releasing some of their inner panic at promising to
be honorable).

To him, I'm sure, the fact that he's supposed to be pledging his heart to another in
4 weeks is just a little detail...once he got the intoxicating idea of trying to wallow in some
of YOUR attention for the last time. Oooo, he just had to dump that drama on you. Bleaaahh.

Hope it is the last time! And if it's not, hope you hang up the second you recognize
his voice.

(Why do we feel OWNED by the telephone anyway?? We own our earspace, doggone it.)

Welcome. Try moving over to the main message board where more will see your posts.

Hopalong

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