Beth
What a generous and courageous thing you did. Thank you!
Portia: Helps others in order to grow herself. Takes an interest in people that is insightful, caring and helpful. I guess I would like to help people, children like I was, but what stops me in this thinking is the idea that I don’t have the answer, and I think there are others – more normal, healthy others – who can do it better. I just know that at the deep end chance plays such a huge part and it’s difficult to remain optimistic in the face of certain given circumstances. And the part we can play is so small. But small steps make a big difference I guess!
I am a bit worried about making a "case study" of my mother. I feel like I will be looking at her with different eyes. It's kind of hard to see a bug under a microscope as your own mom. Of course, I know I will have strange emotions and confusion too.It’s a bit scary, the thought of seeing your mother differently, like you’re going against the rules? There are no rules really; just trying to see people and situations more clearly, maybe trying to understand why people, like your mom, are the way they are and not blaming them for it. Blame the behaviour! Not the person.
My mother’s been the bug under my microscope and it’s been shocking: but she hasn’t been aware of it and
it hasn’t hurt her. In fact it may have helped. If I hadn’t have looked closely, I might instead have voiced my thoughts to her and that wouldn’t have helped, not in her case.
Strange emotions and confusion – maybe. Shock, anger…etc, all normal reactions.
I hope it goes as well as it can. There’ll be ears hear* to listen whenever you need – or want – them! Best wishes to you on your trip Beth. (* here / hear / my language skills are slipping wildly)
PS Wanted to add one for -
H&H: a huge kindness and a trust in people and their best intentions; someone who has survived and thrived without a trace of bitterness or resentment. H&H amazes me
