"Sermon", such as it is (long)

[sea storm]

How beautiful your sermon was. I love your courage. Getting up there and naming the unspeakable. Yeah! We all need this so much.
What I heard above all was the need to connect with others and to honour each other and reach out.
Your church sounds lovely too.
For some reason I am reminded of this.... In Northwest Naive Culture there are 3 levels of counselors for those grieving. The first is the person who talks and gives advice, the second is the person who listens and does not judge and the last is the one who just holds the grieving person until they have cried all their tears. They don't have the concept for "poor me". It is all a river that flows thru your body and takes you somewhere.

[Hopalong]

I hope it made you feel less lonely, Sea.
Thanks for reading it.

That's beautiful, the grief team in northwest native culture...I loved learning that.

Maybe you could go sit in good company and sign a song tomorrow, eh?

hugs,
Hops

[sea storm]

When I find that friend I will be very happy.
I will try to find a group that does this in some way. I love to sing, chant and make sounds.
Hops you are a very wise soul.
The little bit you write about your mother sounds like a cold splash of water in your face. After your beautiftl sermon that is like the culmination of what you value and believe in, she dismissed it.
When it was amazing and trail blazing.
In some way these people with cold hearts teach us a lot. We either survive or become bitter and indifferent.  You have survived and grown very beautiful in your thoughts and words.
I am just so ....... sad these days. Thanks for your words and feelings they are helping so much.
Sea Storm

[Hopalong]

Sea,
Check out www.uua.org and Find a Congregation if you'd like to check out the community where I've found an extended family and some of my dearest friends. Maybe the sermon was part ballsy (I mean eggsy  ) but the other part was that in that community I learned it was safe to be sad, safe to say I'm lonely, safe to be who I am. And that healed my own sadness more than anything else in my life.

I'll light a little candle for you today.

hugs,
Hops

[gratitude28]

At last I found a few minutes to concentrate so I could read your lovely sermon. There is so much that it is hard to choose just a few things to talk about. Having lived in other countries, it does seem funny to me that we go through our day telling everyone we are fine as the mascara runs down our faces from crying, or our limbs are about to drop off from a terrible accident.
Also, I read an article in Nat'l Geographic once about the Italian families in Boston and it reminded me of what you said about the Mexican families... and about my own Mexican MIL who has no trouble showing emotion. With her, I have learned to express some emotions. I was amazed when she started telling me she loved me after conversations... while my Nmother says it sometimes, my darling MIL really means it. And she loves me no matter what I look like or how my hair has been cut or whether I have a good job...
And I loved it in Italy that you could go to the beach and people didn't spend time looking over your body and judging you... it feel we do that so much... (this is moving away from your topic...).
I know lonliness right now and it is hard. I have all I need... my lonliness is for my husband and it has come to me hand-in-hand with fear. I am afraid he will know how much I love him and then change his mind about me. Until this time (it's been 15 years) I have accepted him as my best friend and partner, but not as someone I truly need/want in my life.
So, hopsy, maybe like you said, lonliness is good???? Even if it's not solitude??? I am losing my mind-track now... it seems I had a thought and it slipped away.
Again, thatnks for a lovely post.
Love, Beth

[gratitude28]

OMG Hops,
That story is sooooo my mom. Until you said it I didn't realize. She would always say, I'll look at it later. Which meant never. I liked your sermon much more than I like the WashPost

[Hopalong]

Beth,
I can feel the waves of loneliness and love washing back and forth in your life.
I know what you mean...the way you express it there is beauty in it...it is just so very human.

Your husband is a lucky man. I think you will be able to risk loving him more. It won't be boudary-less sick fusion, no it won't. Just bigger stronger love that you're comfortable giving, because it doesn't take anything alway from you. You'll feel your way to the flow of it. You already are. ((((Beth)))))

I like this, Storm. It's a really evocative distinction:

attention, which is all one way, shallow, and very short-lived, instead of companionship, which flows in both directions, deepens over time, and can last a lifetime... and, ironically, includes all of the very best kinds of attention there are

thanks,
Hops