Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

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Anonymous:
This guy had no business getting married or becoming a parent. He may well be a narcissist. You stayed with him, knowing he was extremely immature, which is problematic. You may want to consider supportive therapy. Start moving in a direction that's good for you.

bunny

Anonymous:
Hi Nat...

Welcome.  Just want to join the others in saying Get Out.  Set realistic expectations based on the past behavior of this entire family.  My goodness, the man is 40 years old and living at home?  Don't fall for this family's immature emotional blackmail.  It doesn't matter if they are N or not (they certainly sound irresponsible.) The situation ain't working for you.

Also, in the tradition of this board, once you get centered and squared away, you might want to spend some time looking into your own past choices so you can avoid getting roped into another nightmare.  Some of us need to be needed, are uncomfortable living on our own, feel we can "reform" someone or ignore our alarm bells while falling madly in love with a charming or needy N...find out what your triggers are so you can endure smaller amounts of discomfort upfront to avoid the big pain-inducers that appear further into a relationship.  

Good luck, S.

Anonymous:
there are two books which might help you learn more about men and relationships

The Verbally Abusive Relationship
by
patricia Evans

and

'Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men' by Lundy Bancroft.


don't blame yourself- abusive people trap you before you realise it by their manipulations and machinations, and he had it particularly easy, doing it within the home and support of his own dysfunctional family. I know you're really tired right now with a baby and small child, but you'll get no support from his family or him and just a lot more burdens if you go back. You have no responsibility to him, make a good life for yourself with your children. you seem like a lovely fun caring person, and you deserve happiness.

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