Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Thanks!
pp:
delete
phoenix:
bye
rosencrantz:
Hi Portia - I just realised that both you and I - from the UK - chose Shakespearean characters for our names!!
Hi pp - Adult Children of Alcoholics and of Narcissists. You'll find forums and books which use these phrases. :-)
Hi Phoenix (we have all the Ps tonight!) - I see you are doing the ACON thing and entering into the experience of other people (even over the miles) and then experiencing it viscerally. The energy therapy I've been having has curtailed that for me for a bit. I am worried because that's such a fundamental part of who I am - but on the other hand it means I'm beginning to look after my own life better (getting more organised again, gradually getting things done, getting on top of things, less 'tossed and turned' by the feelings, worries and confusion of other people!)
My mother is too old and too alone for me to fight her any more (even if I wanted to). I guess that's where all this began. I stopped fighting and she overwhelmed me. But if it gave me a new perspective on my marriage which will ultimately lead to a better life than I would otherwise have had, then it's been worth it. It's been more of a shift in perspective than growth. Things are the same but totally different. Like the sun moving round and putting some things into shadow but the shadows causing other things to be brought into sharp relief. And then having to make some choices based on what you see.
I still have grieving to do. The anniversary of my father's death isn't too far away. I think that the next six months will be challenging as there will be a lot of times I'll be saying 'It's a year since...'.
Namaste
R
Portia:
R, thank you for baring your soul a little more. But you’ve given me a puzzle! A Curate? A Cure Rate? An accountant? Hmmm! Ack You Rate (a statistician)? Ha ha! (I bet you’re working in some kind of therapy or counselling.) Never mind. But accurate = precise and true; perhaps possible in engineering but surely not in language, unless it’s mathematical language. Yes you make sense – ‘true’ evokes too many associations (religious probably) whereas ‘accurate’ sounds more scientific. Just words.
Names: my first choice was Cordelia “how sharper than a serpent’s tooth to have a thankless child” but the name was taken. I’m glad – too much of the victim about it.
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Did you love your past career? I thought mine was okay but I now see it as a waste of time, apart from earning money – which allows me to be here. Perhaps if I’d spent more time thinking and less working, I would’ve been here a lot sooner?
Your husband agreed to have energy healing! Wow.
Interesting what you say about ‘body work’. I had an invigorating 15 minute clothed massage courtesy of work once but other than that I’ve avoided paid-for physical contact. I don’t have any beauty treatments and even going to the hairdresser can sometimes make my skin creep. Is that weird? I also find it difficult to justify spending money on non-practical things for myself – (ranting edited)
rosencrantz:
:lol: I like your plays on words! You're a nice person and intelligent, Portia - and playful - so live life bearing that in mind!
And in response to something else you wrote - get yourself strong before you start on anyone else close to you. You'll need them to be stable while you're shifting - and once you've shifted then everything else will start to move with you.
I've always hated having my hair done too - (anything where I have to look at myself in the mirror).
Re the rest - yes, you're right about these mothers. I do know it. I just wonder sometimes (now I'm feeling centred again and not having contact) whether perhaps I was wrong all along. It's more the onset of guilt than hope.
Watch BBC2 tomorrow evening - it's all about today's older generation enjoying life and spending all their money so there's none left for their kids! ;-)
R
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