Well they're younger than me (4 and 6 years) and are best friends. So they exchange gifts every year with each other at Christmas, even though we're supposed to be doing a gift exchange amongst the adult kids, so that means every year you're supposed to pick a name and buy a gift for just that person (and their spouse) rather than have to buy for all 7 family members + spouses.
But my sisters seemed not to get this concept, and in addition to their chosen Secret Santa, they always get elaborate gifts for one another "just because" and proceed to open them in front of me. Then they say or imply: pb, why are you so mad? We're best friends, we can't help it...
Another classic: showers. I hate them. It's no wonder I prefer the company of males. But everytime there's a shower, no one tells me anything, so even if I wanted to help I haven't a clue (not that I'm good at them anyway). So, I scurry around, trying to figure out what I can do so as not to be considered delinquent and then the shower day will come, and sisters will have told Mom (or maybe she fabricates this): pb didn't do anything. She's Out to Lunch! (said as if this is a mortal sin)
One year, I orchestrated (tried to anyway) the baby shower for one of my Sister in Laws (SIL-R). Well, because I was "in charge" my two sisters did absolutely nothing to help me. Then, when it turned out to be a flop (we ended up just taking her out to lunch, the family member women), they got to chat about that. They do it in whispered criticisms to each other, like it's supposed to be a secret, except they say things loud enough so that I can hear what they're saying about me! It drives me batty, no kidding! I felt bad for my SIL-R cause I know she wasn't "measuring up" either; I mean simply being associated with me made her their enemy. It's no wonder she eventually ditched me and became friends with one of them (they're not as close these days I hear).
It's really no wonder I've taken to riding motorcycles and working on cars with my b/f's over the years. I really do enjoy these things, they are calming and serene to me. Analytical. School was the same way. I could escape the drama and all the overinflated expectations of what "women" were supposed to do, and how they're supposed to be acting. It's why I was attracted to Science and Math.
I think my Mom and sisters single handedly were out to drive me crazy - only thing they succeeded in doing, however, was making my b/f quite pleased that he got a "cool chic who is into the guy stuff." ha ha
So maybe I got the last laugh, cause in a lot of ways I think my relationship with my b/f is better because of it. They treat their husbands like children, I sometimes think. There are so many Rules about what they can do and can't do: you can't stay out drinking with your buddies tonight, you have to come home and help me with the kids, etc.
Sometimes it's a wonder they can be around them at all. They're like little Nazi women, I think. Drives me crazy having to be in control all the time. I like that men can make their own decisions, and I don't have to tell them what to do all the time.
There's a woman at work who drives me bonkers cause she told me this: I have passwords on everything in the house (we assumed it was for the teenagers). She said, Oh no, they're for my husband too. I monitor how much TV he watches and what channels (she's the only one with the code and she changes it frequently). She also said that they all have the same cell phone plan and she only allows certain people to call her daughter and son, and husband so all other calls are disallowed. I thought: what the heck is the purpose of this? It's no wonder when her son got to college he went nuts and got into drugs. With a mom like that micromanaging him all the time, he couldn't help it. Kids (and adults) ought to get to make choices in life. And if some of them are wrong, OK, that's how people learn.
But the weirdest thing about this woman is she is pretty high up in the company, I mean she's well respected and is very smart and capable at her job. Her husband works there too, and is a manager and he's the opposite! (he couldn't make a decision to save his life: in fact, he is often "out to lunch," - my description. You have to explain things to him multiple times, and he rarely helps. I've had to get his supervisors involved to get him to do anything, some times).
So I know this woman is reminding me of my own Mom and the dynamics in my FOO where the women all tell the men what to do all the time. It's sad. They treat them like helpless little babies. The guys, of course, resent it. But when they treat me that way, I just get pissed. I know it's just a label cause I'm perfectly capable of organizing a party, if they'd let me.
The other crappy thing they do is insist that "I never want to have anything to do with them, or "girl stuff," and that I'm not their friend" - and I'm like, What?! Friendship is a two way street. Is it my fault we're not better friends? Personally, I think they prefer it this way as it gives them someone to "hate" and pick on. Everytime something goes wrong, they just blame it on me - well, if Pb was our friend... If I was in their little circle, then duh, we'd be friends. I don't know how many times I've told them: it's not my fault we're not friends! I try! whatev
It's an impossible situation. I think it's why I have zero tolerance for drama queens at work. I avoid them like the plague. If they try to suck me in, I politely exit now. I used to get all bent out of shape and tell them what they were doing, though. Not pretty. I know I was just reinacting all my FOO stuff.
pb
