G_d and me

[WRITE]

I have been on a spiritual quest the past year or two, and learned to trust and pray again.

( working on wait now! )

Yesterday I decided to go to Unitarian Church- you know I wanted to try it again and resolve the issues of the last bad experiences at another UU church.

But all the way there, I was thinking I am a Christian, ought I be at Christian Church?

It was one of those beautiful cloud-luminous days here, and I felt strongly: go, go and listen.

So I did. The sermon was exploring what is G_d, touching on the ways our ethnicity and backgrounds make us see G_d in our own culture, and how each of us can find G_d and not be afraid to search.

It was like every word was personal to me, even using the analogy of dancing, dating and a poem I have composed a piece around, and other subjects I have been thinking a lot about.

I was so moved, to joy, the altar cloth at this church has symbols of all the major religions, even the pianist played a beautiful solo. It was perfect.

Then it was over. I went to shake the minister's hand, we have met before. It was like a shutter closing down on the experience. He didn't shake my hand, but rudely turned aside and started speaking to someone else.

I stood there motionless for a few seconds, then turned and left.

As I walked across the car park the clouds were still billowing, gorgeous day, I wasn't sure how to feel. My initial thoughts were, what a slap in the face, how unpleasant/ unfriendly, what a great contrast etc.
Then this older man stopped and spoke to me, said I have a beautiful voice, and kissed my cheek.

When I got into my car I found there were tears pouring down my face, but such a release and a relief.

G_d loves me.
The message was the words, not the minister...the spontaneous affection, the beauty of the day; and even though some of the people in life have hurt me, wherever I go there will always be G_d and me.

[Healing&Hopeful]

(((((((((((Write))))))))))

I remember a previous post and know what a huge step this was for you.  I'm glad you went and I'm glad you found kindness, even if it wasn't where you thought it would be.

Take care

H&H xx

[moonlight52]

Write ,

Kindness is the only thing that matters ,that is a lyric in a song by a songwriter named Jewel that my youngest daughter likes.

MoonLight
 

[Hops]

((((((((((((Write))))))))))))
I'm SO glad.
Not just because I'm UU, but because you're-you, and this is something you needed.
I think what happened between you and the light and the inclusive symbols and the words of the sermon...was you and G_d.

(Ministers come and go, and they have their clumsy stupid moments. BIG CLAY FEET.)

But if the other elements felt good to you, chances are the old man who greeted you so tenderly is the heart of the church.

(I know I go for the community, not the minister. They can be great, mediocre, or terrible...pot luck sometimes.)

Anyway, I'm moved to read your post and I love that you made this happen.

love,
Hops

[reallyME]

if only that were true Moonlight

[WRITE]

it is so good to let go of all the anguish and anxiety!
I even heard that guy on the radio earlier who was really rude to me a couple of years ago, and thought, wow you sound N today! without a hint of the pain he caused me.

if only that were true Moonlight

I think it's entirely true. People find G_d via different routes, different religions and different prophets, but kindness is a reliable short-cut on the path!

You know last night I cared for my friend's two month old baby, he was so contented and happy, just to be loved and held and fed and sung to. I cannot fully imagine what my own experience of babyhood was like if my mother ignored my cries at such a vulnerable and dependent stage. I imagine I was distraught, terrified and eventually silenced.

She was very proud of her methods, 'my babies never cried after the first few weeks...'
No wonder I never bonded with her, nor my brother and sister.

I never realised who was taking care of me all the times no one else did, all I saw was the pain. But- here I am 

[reallyME]

I am GLAD you never bonded with such an evil, uncaring, non-empathetic creature.  You deserve BETTER!

[WRITE]

an evil, uncaring, non-empathetic creature

well, she never found much happiness on earth, and she died prematurely at 50 from alcoholism and heavy smoking.

And I have been very lucky to have had so many surrogates- and especially now doing the alzheimers groups: so many of those ladies think they are my mother and love me accordingly!

I guess the love just doesn't always come when & where you think it should (((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))

[moonlight52]

What I was saying is kindness is important .And I am glad my little one likes those kind of lyrics in a song .

m

[Hopalong]

the alzheimers groups: so many of those ladies think they are my mother and love me accordingly!

This is beautiful, Write...(sniff)

I guess the love just doesn't always come when & where you think it should

And this is wise.

Wow.

Hops

[moonlight52]

Hops and All,  I have a dear love one that has been waiting on  health tests .And  their were possible real life threating problems.

Well these weeks of waiting have been soooooooooooooooo..................HARD.I just got the news they came back and are

negative.This is what I have been praying for .............................I could pop all my stitches.Well when I got the good news

we cried for joy and laughed and cried .I guess we got a few more spring party's left in us after all .

I am so happy and grateful .............

THANKS FOR THIS THREAD WRITE     

hugs 

Moon

[Hopalong]

YEE-ha!
I'm so happy and relieved for you, Moon!

((((((((Moon and her healthy loved one))))))))))

This worry has been eating at you a good while.
I'm so glad the news was good.

love,
Hops

[moonlight52]

  I AM SO HAPPY

MOONLIGHT

[WRITE]

That's lovely Moon (((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I just went walking my dog again in the sunset.

The day has been perfect: slept well, done more cleaning, shipped stuff out to Goodwill, talked to my son, walked the dog and been swimming, ate Thai food, foudn the perfect dress for my date Sat pm, at just $9!

I felt a little lonely earlier, so I went out to walk again, I have the happiest dog in the world (!) and thought I wonder if I'll ever meet people through my dog?

As if in answer an hour later I am deep in conversation with some people who run a theatre, we exchanged details, they are looking for a voice coach!

Ask, and it shall be given you;
seek, and you shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened to you.
For whoever asks, receives;
and he who seeks, finds;
and to him who knocks, the door is opened.
 
matthew 7:7:8

I am finally still and ( almost ) patient enough to wait for the answers, not my answers!

[WRITE]

I just read this:

The Buddha said, “Don’t just hope for the other shore to come to you. If you want to cross over to the other shore, the shore of safety, well-being, non-fear and non-anger, you have to swim or row across. You have to make an effort.”

I can trust in G_d but I need to do what I need to do too!