Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Has anyone experienced cut-offs?

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phoenix:
bye

pp:
delete

just started life:
Just something that crosses my mind: they know that by not calling they are hurting you. It's a form of having power, I believe.

I have had only few contacts with my Nmother last years, and I falsely believed I was detached and problems were getting solved. I didn't know yet she was N and I was still blaming myself and feeling guilty and not understanding anything like an idiot. And suffering of course, like all of you.

I believe it's only after going through a long way of understanding and restoring boundaries, that it will only hurt you less if they call or don't call randomly. It's the last weapon they have when you've run away: pretend as if it were their choice to ignore you. And hurt you from the other side of the globe like that. And seduce you to expose yourself again, pushing your newly constructed shaky boundary inward again.
They need raw flesh to scar or something ?!?

It might be that it's the only kind of extra hurts we can't protect ourselves against, after we finally unmasked reality and Nmother and saw the horror they really were.

Happily there's lots of other people to find that we will enjoy when they call, and that will respect these feelings.

Thank you all so much for the warmth.

Courage and love to all of you beautiful souls. I very recently discovered some love in me for the first time, and i'll want to send it to you all the first.

just started life:
How about this thought: if everybody knew it were the end of the world next week, I'll bet they would call before that.

So it's maybe a fake cut-off, and all by all a covert and coward form of attacking your weak boundaries again.

I think they shouldn't steal the cut-off from you (like it was not your cut-off, it was their idea).

Hmm. It's all so complicated. Still trying to figure out all this stuff.



This place and your posts sure help a lot.

Thanks again

phoenix:
bye

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