Hi All...the lady I've been mentoring for a long while now, taped an interview with a Christian Therapist named Glenda Mosey, regarding Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and a book called "Help! I'm married to a Narcissist." I was so impressed with the interview that I gathered some notes to share from it with you all:
Narcissists start out in a relationship, behavior warmly, friendly, charming in order to get you interested.
Eventually, you begin to sense and feel that you are pouring all you are into the relationship, yet getting so little back.
Narcissists try to protect themselves so that, if you try to be on an
equal level with them or criticize them, they will turn
on you.
Narcissists, as children, usually suffered some form of abuse, neglect, or constant criticism.
Not affirmed, not feel safe, lack ability to be whole.
The N does not ever feel safe inside herself. She is like a teenager who is all about ME ME ME. This never stopped since childhood.
With N's there is a need for protection of an injured self. They tend to soak up all attention for
themselves to SOOTHE that wounded inner-self.
They talk about themselves and their issues a LOT!
They talk about the famous people
yes I have seen this
they know
I am special and I need the best
self-pity when they do not get what they feel they
deserve...tell stories of how they were wronged a lot.
Trail of really bad relationships and job experiences
that were always someone else's fault. (they should
have listened to me, if only they would have done
_____)
Narcissists are trying to feel better about themselves.
BPD is a cross between sanity and
insanity/reality/unreality.
the N is wanting admiration, knows how to get it,
gives you care, eventually withdraws that care when
they stop getting what they want from you.
N's pray what they want for THEMSELVES, when they
pray for YOU. Their prayers are all about how the
illness disrupts their life.
N's feel they are sooooooooooo important and
sooooooo right and when others do not agree with
them, they can become very abusive emotionally or
even physically. They will take you down emotionally
and verbally.
depression very common, dysthymic (low level), can
still function in daily living, good times are not typical
"good" times and do not last long...they tend to
identify it in themselves and want others to support,
agree and give them attention as a solution to them
feeling so awful.
when half of anything changes, the WHOLE needs to
change.
Understand how to interract with the N, not taking
things so personally. As you begin to decide that
things are not working for you, suggest the person
goes and talks to somebody. If they resist, tell them
YOU are going to talk to somebody and if they want to
come with you, they can.
Prayer for Jesus to do for these people what they
can't do for themselves. "humble themselves"
"confess their sin one to another" have elders lay
hands on the person...
Boundaries
do not take things personally...it's about THEM and
not you.
N will take NO responsibility for what went wrong, but
the Codep will take on ALL responsibility for what
when wrong.
Need to be assured of love, worth, acceptance by
God and us.
When child does not feel that assurance, there is a
self-centeredness that shows up in that adult-child.
when you really listen to them, you will hear them
making a fool of themseves
N's do know what they are doing.
N's see their father's a their FATHER
