What's Happened to the Community? -- response to nightsong

[penelope]

Hey moon,

I just want to clarify something.  I don't need conflict. This is a misnomer.  I don't even know what that means.  But because it's a part of life, when it happens to me (when I feel conflicted with something that's going on), I have a choice about how I'm going to respond.  Some conflict is worth getting to the bottom of, sorting out, some is not.  Personally I thought that my conflicted feelings about RM were worth getting to the bottom of.  I thought she was worth the trouble, and so am I.  Did I make mistakes in choosing to engage in the particular manner that I did?  Of course, I'm only human.  Was it worth it?  YES

You feel conflicted here, no?  Which is why you keep posting about it?  So it feels like we're worth it to you. That you're choosing not to do it in an aggressive style is a good choice.  But you're not walking away from the conflict.  I hear you talking about it, suggesting resolutions - you're saying, let's get through conflicts more peaceably.

hugs,
pb

[penelope]

I also post to share and understand, moon.  Curious why you think I've got anger and fight in me to a different extent.   

I think I know what you're saying though - if I did - which you can't know except by asking and understanding, that would be something you could not relate to.

pb

[reallyME]

Jac,

I grew up in NY too...in Buffalo, and I know what you mean

[Overcomer]

Hi all.......well, it's been a day and quite a few posts.  Thanks for wanting me to stay.  Sometimes I think my posts are non-sequiturs (sp?)  I just pipe in in the middle of a conversation between two and go back to the first post of the thread.  Reason for that is because I don't read all these in a timely manner and when I am trying to respond to the initial thread it has often morphed into a whole new debate. 

Anyway, I hear the us against them thing.  It has become us against them at work.  My aunt and Nmom against stable, rational bookkeeper and me.  Problem is the bookkeeper is getting sooooooo frustrated with the other two that she is the one looking bad......................I see it on these threads and I see it in real life.  The person who is the most stable seems to be labelled the least because they have the audacity to point out the least.  Another elephant in the room/emperor has no clothes analogy.  However, it might have a lot to do with temperaments as well.  I am kind of a speak before I think girl and sometimes that opens my mouth and inserts my foot!!  Some others do that as well.

Well, hopefully we can all help each other through these times.  Sometimes I really think I am going crazy.  Life cannot be this hard.  But then I have to keep going back and realizing that, yes, I had a neglected, abusive childhood and it took me 40 years to really figure that out................and I am not the crazy one...............my mom is........and that makes me so very happy and somehow vindicated of all the instability labels!!!

[Overcomer]

moon and jac take it to PM

[reallyME]

Moon,

I'm lost now in the convo...I don't recall me saying that you said I have anger in me or whatever.  Hope you feel better though from the hernia situation.  My daughter had an inguinal one operated on before she turned 2.

~Laura

[Certain Hope]

Hi Kelly...

  Just wanted to say .... glad you're here! Hope you're having a good day.

Love,
Hope

[reallyME]

Moon,

No clue what you mean by "mean street stuff"

I grew up in Buffalo, not the CITY of NY.  I have never even been to NY.  THAT is where the mean-street stuff happens, not where I lived...well, NOW it does, but it didn't back then

I was saying about NYers being angry people overall, because NY is a very fast-paced area where people are highly STRESSED

That is what I meant.

[Herewegoagain]

Here we go again

[Overcomer]

Jac:  I guess I agree....................I tend to expose my mom in front of other people, too.  I was so sick of the presentation of the perfect family that now I try to expose anything that is phony.........but I still don't like the back and forth jabs at each other............just remember that in this situation you can never hear the inflection in someone's voice so sometimes the meaning goes right over your head.  I think that is what you guys were doing.  Not understanding the meaning..................

[reallyME]

Moonlight: MY FAMILY HAS SEEN ME THU IT ALL AND STILL THEY LOVE ME

I'm confused...I thought your family was that of N'ism?  How can it be that they love you yet abuse you, or do you mean someone other than the abusers?  I don't get it

[lupine]

Hi Moon,

I wish there was some way I could take away the stuff that is happening on this thread.  I think you are a very good soul.  And don't let someone else steal your words.  You know who your family is even if they don't.  (Maybe they can't read?)  Stand strong!  And maybe the others who ignore you will be able to answer you.  If not, then you have your answer. 

[reallyME]

Hey Jac

Thank you for pointing out that some of the posts were deleted.  That is another form of rendering someone voiceless as well, in my view.  I noticed that some were missing too, so I'm glad you saved them.

~Laura

[Healing&Hopeful]

And count to ten....

1


2


3


4


5


6


7


8


9


10

[Stormchild]

Moon, I'm really confused here.

LOH hasn't left.

She and jac are trying to work this out.

Jac has apologized several times for her remark.

They're trying to resolve this.

Can you find a way to support them in trying to work this out? Wouldn't that fit in more with your own values and beliefs? Might it provide an opportunity to work out your own issue with jac, in context?

Sorry to be a busybody, but I'm concerned about this and about you. It's not like you to hang on to something negative, it's not like you to hold a grudge. I don't understand this and I'm concerned, because this has gone on for several days now.

If I have offended you I apologize, because that isn't at all my intention, it's the last thing on earth I want to do. I've been trying really hard to find the best way to express this, and I'm running out of time, and I don't think I got it perfect but I don't think it can wait until tonight.

So if I have offended you, I ask you to believe it's not intended, and to forgive me.

((((((((((Moon))))))))))